If you’re reading this, the title of this post resonated with your spirit. When you think about sex and sexuality, something in you is ashamed, repulsed or scared. Perhaps your past has colored your view of sexuality, or maybe you were never given a sex talk by your parents. Sex is not something to be talked about as a Christian girl, you think; it’s dirty, gross or sinful.
Many girls think like you do. But do you want to hear a crazy truth? That’s not what God thinks about sex. In fact, nowhere in the Bible is sex talked about in these terms. Instead, sex is celebrated as something special, beautiful and incredible! It’s even commanded of married couples to keep it a priority (1 Corinthians 7:5) and to honor the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4). And right in the middle of the Bible is an entire book focused on marital sex: Song of Solomon.
So if God created sex and sexuality and doesn’t look on them with embarrassment, why do we? There are two primary reasons this happens. We’ll start with the first one.
Western culture is extremely sexualized. We use the term “sexy” to describe everything from lipstick to food. Sex is equated with any level of desirability, and to NOT be sexy is to be unwanted. Many young women launch into adulthood thinking they must objectify themselves to be valued by men. Young men grow up thinking women are things to be acquired, not people to love.
Media perpetuates this by emphasizing appearance and invoking sexuality in every plot line. Have you noticed that most relationships in today’s TV shows begin after the couple has sex? Our culture portrays sexuality in a way God never designed it to be used. Because we see sex used out of context all around us, we get confused about what is beautiful and what is dirty. As Christians, we know that sex is for marriage alone. Yet the world makes premarital sex seem so amazing, and sex in marriage so…boring.
The enemy is working overtime to twist our view of sexuality. He wants us to get everything upside down!
Meanwhile, in the church, sex is a taboo topic. This has started to change in the last decade, and for good reason! For too long, sex has been forbidden from Christian conversation. Because young women had no one to talk to about sexuality, they turned to Cosmo magazine and other worldly sources as their authority. But the culture is not a reliable sex ed instructor.
As the world tells us to let go of our inhibitions and engage in sex however we please, the church tells us rules about sex without the reason behind them. When girls only know sex in the context of shame, they start to view their own sexuality as dirty—even when they’ve done nothing wrong.
If you view sex as dirty, gross or sinful in and of itself, you’ve bought into the enemy’s lie. Sex is none of these things! Only when we are engaged in sexual sin is shame a factor. But when we view sex as God designed it and live that out daily, there is no place for shame. There is only freedom.
God celebrates sexuality
The only times we see sex condemned in Scripture is when it is in the context of sin. And even when we have sexually sinned, there is redemption and hope! Think about the saints who were ancestors of Jesus, our Messiah: Rahab, a prostitute; Tamar, who pretended to be a prostitute; David and Bathsheba, who committed adultery together. None of them deserved the honor of being the Messiah’s ancestors, but God redeemed their sin and brought beauty from it.
If you’ve never sinned sexually, it’s time to reframe your thinking about sex. God created it. He loves it, when used within His design. And if you have sinned sexually or are struggling with sexual addiction, God offers hope and a new mind to you, too!
If you need help battling sexual sin, join my free email course for overcoming lust. As someone who walked this road myself, I know how hard it is to see sex as something good. But that’s exactly what it is: something good, beautiful and God-designed. Embracing that mentality is the only way to true sexual freedom.