TODAY’S HOT TOPIC: Are You the Cause of Your Own Adversity?

    Life is filled with adversity and it comes in many forms.

    I’m sure some of you beautiful girls have lost loved ones. Some of you have parents who are divorced. Some of you have been brought up in single-parent families, have family members with addictions or even have vices of your own. Some challenges are bigger than others, right? But they’re all still an ordeal.

    I’m an advocate of overcoming adversity and using it to strengthen our lives; I believe this is God’s intention for hardship. We read stories about it all the time–I even wrote my novel The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch on the theme!

    But what if you’re the cause of your own adversity? What if you thrive on it? What if it gives your life meaning? Some people create chaos or difficulty for themselves because it opens the door to attention from others. But often, self-created adversity gets out of hand and can lead to a downward spiral of darkness.

    Ladies, if you’re finding that you need to be in the midst of drama for the sake of attention, remember this–God wants to give you attention. But His is a positive attention that will elevate your life.

    Look to Christ for meaning in your life. Call out to Him for direction and purpose. He will strengthen your world so you can be helpful to those who are suffering. Your strength and light are needed by someone.

    Girls, do you create adversity for yourself? Do you know other people who do? Do you find that people pay more attention to you when you’re dealing with hard times?

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    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. the only thing that would make this article better would be some examples of how girls cause their own adversity I was expecting examples to be in this article so that it could help girls who do this know what they are doing wrong and maybe some examples of what they can do better that went with the other examples of the things girls do to cause their own advisity would be great.

      • Thanks for your question. There are so many ways in which girls do this, I didn’t want to limit it and I didn’t want to diminish genuine adversity. That being said, some girls may create adversity by deliberately abusing alcohol or drugs, getting into abusive relationships or getting involved in a bad crowd. How can self-created adversity be avoided? By recognizing the your worth is not determined by the attention you receive by choosing adversity. I truly hope that helped. God bless you!

    2. Thanks so much for this article 🙂 It really makes sense, and its a perspective that is sometimes really hard to take…it’s sometimes hard to realize that at times that I need to step back and look at myself, and if my mindset and me relying on myself all the time is what matters. Lately I’ve been really confused when it comes to self identity, and I’ve been trying to find all of my identity in myself, when I should look to Christ to find my worth 🙂

    3. I have a 12 year old daughter and both her and I took so much from this. She has friends that inded create chaos to get attention. Unfortunately, half the time they don’t realize they are doing it and therefore don’t know how to stop or turn it into a positive one and like you said be able to “elevate their life”. From what I see, on this particular young lady, it derives a good percentage from her mom. I can not emphasize enough how important it is for mothers to raise our daughters to be positive thinkers and to elevate their lives. Some girls unfortunately might not have that mother figure, but if you are an adult role model for girls, take advantage and be a POSITIVE one. It goes a long way. I then asked myself the question, “Do I creat adversity for myself?” Only when it comes to cleaning because I don’t like the way anyone else does it, lol. However, I am going to ask my husband when he gets home. Perhaps there is something I don’t see that other see in me.

      • I’m so glad you and your daughter found value in this. It’s difficult to recognize self-created adversity, but it’s so great that you’re looking to change that and find meaning through Christ. And you’re so right, being a light to young girls is often the best way to encourage positive behavior.

    4. The ones backstage are the ones who do all of the hard work that makes the play so real, but everyone has their time to shine on stage. I think it is a delicate balance that sometimes we dont always understand. But God sees us when others dont, and the things we do when no one is watching sometimes mean more than anything we do in front of a crowd.
      “Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6 I always try to remember this when i feel like i need attention or anything like that.

    5. I have allot to deal with for my age and i know sometimes i unintentionally use that to get attention when i’m asking for the help i need to get through it. thanks for this and if you could send a prayer my way i would love that. <3

    6. This has become…me Ive made being sad my blenket. It covers me up and drws people to me. Im safe under my blanket and I get pity from others. And now…its gotten out of control. I need to realize that GODS attention matters most. No one else can satisfy me. Thank you so much! Now I know why ive been so sad!

    7. WOW! Did I ever need this… I am a chronic adversity-manufacturer!! God is so gracious to me, it is an insult to him to try and find meaning in imaginary troubles!! What a wonderful life he has given me. 🙂

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