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Top Five Phrases To Use On Someone Bullying You

Mean people. Gross! If only someone would invent a force field for nice people that would make negative vibes bounce off and land in a bush. Until then, here are five phrases you can use to ‘keep the power’!

1. “Why are you spending so much energy trying to make me feel bad? I guess you need to spice up your own life.”

2. “I guess you find me pretty interesting to keep spending your time being mean to me.”

3. “Why are you treating me like this? What did I do to make you so upset?” (This one will be hard because it makes you vulnerable, but at the same time you’re really taking the high road.)

4. “I’ll pray for you sincerely since you are visibly upset and pray God will soften your heart.” (I know a little cheesy, but if you say this with respect it’s very powerful and effective.)

5. “Does being mean to me make you feel proud? God wants love, and showing hate is the opposite of what God wants for us.”

Image: Thinkstock

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41 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by Artist_In_Blue on September 3, 2012 at 15:27

    These replies would probably work with most people, but I’m involved in this one situation where the bully, a guy, is so hateful. Nothing I say seems to get through to him, and no matter how nice I try to be, he’s always mean to me! And not just me, but he’s hateful to many people at my school. What should I do?

  2. Lexis

    Posted by Lexis on August 10, 2012 at 18:27

    Thank You so much! I can now be prepared for the next school year! last year I would be bullied so much that I physically got sick, I can now know how I can handle it!

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by on June 7, 2012 at 00:39

    Saying any of these is only going to get someone bullied worse.

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by godsgirl23 on May 18, 2012 at 20:11

    I wiah I would have read these a LONG time ago… Thank you Nicole…

  5. faulty-but-real

    Posted by faulty-but-real on May 17, 2012 at 13:17

    i wish i had these when i was being bullied. i tried the second to last one,it didn’t work out too well. 🙁 it was just awful!

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by BeMyLoveStory on May 5, 2012 at 13:29

    Well I think saying “I guess you need to spice up your own life.” will make them angry and offend you more, because saying that is kind-of insulting, and they’ll defend themselves by insulting your life. “Does being mean to me make you feel proud?” is a good one though. It’ll hopefully make them think about their words and realize it’s pointless.

  7. so_shedances

    Posted by so_shedances on May 3, 2012 at 09:15

    Number 2 sounds like something I would say. I’ve personally never been bullied but I have been picked on sometimes, especially in middle school. The key is to not let them know that what they say affects you. If you do, they feel as though they have an advantage over you. Once they know they can’t bother you, they’ll leave you alone.

  8. Paris

    Posted by Paris on May 2, 2012 at 18:20

    I love these. All kids that are bullied should refer to these.

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by Rachel.the.carrot on May 1, 2012 at 14:43

    If you are being bullied by an adult (because they can be bullies too sometimes!) it is important to remain respectful but stand firm. My volleyball coach really doesn’t like me and will pick on me at practice and the other parents will join her. I am learning how to stand up for myself. I will say to my coach,”I’m doing the best I can right now, and if you want me to make this serve so your team will get a point, I need you to please back off a little while.” Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t, but its really important to stick up for yourself. We are children of the King! We don’t have to talk the abuse from people, but we also cant lash back out at them because we are princesses! Also, pray that God will give you the right words when you are sticking up for yourself or for someone else.

  10. Project Inspired

    Posted by Liv on May 1, 2012 at 09:30

    Another important thing to consider is your tone of voice when you say these. Most people are not good at controlling their voice and body language. If the bullying is so bad that you are nervous or afraid and can’t control your voice, it is best to not say anything and learn the right body language. That includes keeping your head up, focusing on something else in the room other than the bully, and keeping your shoulders relaxed. You should keep your lips gently closed and let your arms move with your shoulders, but keep your fingers close together so you hands don’t shake. If you’re sitting, spread yourself out by leaning back a little and putting your feet out. I have been bullied and I was afraid and couldn’t control my voice. That takes a lot longer to learn than body language, so I am practicing those things instead. It is much more effective because when I tried to talk to the bullies, my voice was weak. They knew I was afraid, and that made it worse. If you can control your body language and ignore them, it will make them get bored and stop. Most people who are bullied aren’t confident enough to make comebacks work, but if you can do that I like the ones in the article. I’ve also heard that if you are being physically bullied, you can go to any martial arts instructor and ask them to teach just a few moves for the things the bully does most often. Then you learn those moves until you can do them in your sleep and when the bully sees you again, they rarely ever try anything because you will be confident in your ability and they will know you’re not afraid anymore. In that case, you won’t have to think about your body language because it will come naturally, and you probably will never have to use the moves you learned!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Skye on December 22, 2012 at 16:39

      That’s very interesting lol I wish I could’ve learned that in jr high.I got in trouble for fighting a bully and it would’ve have been much better to just appear confident.

  11. WhiteRoseCafe

    Posted by WhiteRoseCafe on April 30, 2012 at 21:37

    Thank you for these… I’ve been bullied quite a bit this year, even though I’m 5’11 and strong… but it’s verbal bullying, and it’s really hard. But thank you. 🙂

  12. Project Inspired

    Posted by iluvadamlambert on April 30, 2012 at 17:26

    Thanks Nicole. I have never actually been bullied b-4, but now i have something to say when i do! 😀

  13. Project Inspired

    Posted by SarahRose on April 30, 2012 at 17:23

    I wish I had known these a few years ago! They would have helped a ton with me being bullied in jr. high. Thanks for posting these! They will defiantly help in the future.

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by BeStillAndBreath98 on April 30, 2012 at 16:38

    I agree, this is super smart! Will use!

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by Cookie4499 on April 30, 2012 at 16:27

    Hey girls! I need your advice. So in one of middle school teachers classes theres only room for just barely 3 people at a table, but I sit next to two of my bullies and to try to make me mad they push me off so I can’t sit under the table and I don’t know what to do! Help? Thanks!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Mary K8 on May 3, 2012 at 17:45

      Bite your tongue and remember that middle school ends 🙂 I’ve been right in your shoes, and with immature people, sometimes the best thing to do us wait it out. If they are legitimately being mean to you and hurting your feelings, then by all means stand up for yourself, but if they are just being rude, you need to push through it; school is alllllllmost over! Trust me, I’m counting down the days! Also, are you sure they’re doing it on purpose? I’ve learned that some people are just super self centered and they may not have even noticed that you don’t have any room 🙂

  16. Project Inspired

    Posted by jesussaves on April 30, 2012 at 15:25

    Thanks so much for sharing this!! I used to be bullied, and I took all the negative stuff that they said about me and actually believed it. I guess what people thought of me was what I though my only value was. But then one of my friends told me about how I was PRICELESS in the eyes of Jesus, and he didn’t care about what I looked like or what people usually care about, becuase He looks inside of your heart ♥
    Now whenever someone says something mean to me, I say something like what you said above, and be kind to them and even try to pray for them. It takes ALOT to pray for people that are hurting you– but once you don’t harbor hate towards them for what they’ve done, I find that its easier to just ignore what they say.

  17. Btrans4med

    Posted by Btrans4med on April 30, 2012 at 07:20

    I’m pretty short so people at school always poke fun at me because of my height. It’s nothing serious but it still kinda hurts my feelings. Whenever the ‘bullies’ say anything hurtful about me being short, I just say, “Well, this is the way God made me and I think he did a pretty good job, so would you please stop insulting his masterpiece?”
    If any of you girls are being bullied, this is my advice:
    don’t change who you are in order to be accepted. It’s not worth it. Which is more valuable a copy or a masterpiece?

    • Btrans4med

      Posted by Btrans4med on April 30, 2012 at 07:31

      PS- I go to a Christian school so using God as a comeback works really well. If you know that your verbal assasin is a Christian or at least goes to a church,say something about God in your comeback, but if they aren’t it only backfires.

  18. Project Inspired

    Posted by 101magster on March 19, 2012 at 04:28

    ive been bullied a lot recently by a girl who i thought was my friend. she told me i was a terrible writer and that my books that i’m writing are stupid. thats really mean to say to me because my dream is to write a best-seller. all my real friends say im a really good writer. shes probably just jealous that she is a terrible writer and cant think of her own ideas (she wrote a stoyr that was a complete copy off of percy jackson). she told me she only pretended to be my friend so i wouldnt feel bad. she said that all the awesome characters in good books die (president snow and coin, cato, and all the other tributes were not awesome and they died and katniss is awesome but she never died in the hunger games). i told her that most authors dont die in their books so she was basically saying i had to commit suicide to make the books good. then she told me i should commit suicide and make everyones life better. i dont know what her issue is but it must be something big. i used number 4 (we go to a christian school so it wouldnt get me beat up and if soemone said it was stupid they could get in trouble because our bible teacher hears everything). it made her speechless because know one had ever said anything like that before to her

  19. Posted by on November 28, 2011 at 16:45

    one time, i got so annoyed i just made flashcards with comebacks. i used some of these (the first 2) and it made the person really annoyed that I had a comeback.

    btw, NEVER EVER say “i know you are but what am i?” its just childish.

  20. Posted by on October 28, 2011 at 17:41

    Problem with these, for me, is that I don’t think they would really work (if I even got the nerve to say them). I’ve already tried a few, but I already know why they dislike me. I’m one of those “permanently-cheerful-and-annoying” types of people, to them anyway. How can I say these things when I agree with most of what they say? (which usually consists of “For being so smart, you are really stupid” or something about how I’m annoying or really loud)

  21. Posted by on October 22, 2011 at 19:05

    theres this boy at school who is always teasing me saying that im ugly or stupid or he makes yo momma jokes which really doesnt work cause my mom is a lawyer so shes not exactly ugly but anyways its really annoying. i know its just teasing but i just wish i always had a good comeback

  22. Posted by on September 3, 2011 at 20:45

    the first three, i agree. (lol rhyme) but i better watch on who i use the last two on. some people will just say something mean about God which really makes me mad.

  23. Posted by on August 22, 2011 at 19:17

    I have a girl who I’ve been meaning to confront because she literally hates me for no reason and now I can openly confront her to find out why she is being so rude. And not only that, you also tell of 5 ways to nicely fight back without getting in trouble. Thanks Nicole 🙂

  24. Posted by on August 15, 2011 at 19:49

    This helped me soo much! Thank you!

  25. Posted by on August 15, 2011 at 19:01

    The first three are really good, but the last two. I appreciate the fact that they include God, but I think saying something like that will just get you punched, especially if you are a freshman in High-school. I am not at ALL saying that you shouldn’t include God in conversations, or witness to your friends, just that saying something like “I will pray for you” to someone who might not know God is not only a little awkward and silly, but might actually earn you a pleased but still humorous chuckle from God. Just saying it won’t really be any help against bullies. I WILL use the first three though.

    • Posted by on September 25, 2011 at 12:30

      I agree the older kids and my school and even frashmen will beat you up if u say those things.

    • Posted by Nicole on August 15, 2011 at 19:54

      I do agree with you on this!

  26. Posted by on August 12, 2011 at 23:45

    y do bullies hate on girls when they never did anything to them ??i just wanna now that hmmmmm???

  27. Posted by on August 1, 2011 at 16:19

    I was bullied when I was younger, and I can tell you that the first two work really well… the last three, not so much- depending on the environment you’re in. The best thing to do is ignore them, and just bounce it off like you don’t care. Keep being nice to them no matter what. That way, you’re never in the wrong, and eventually they get bored. It takes a while- but I swear, they get bored. Just remember when it gets tough, the tough get going, and what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger and strengthen your relationship with God. And whatever you do- if it gets too bad, don’t be afraid to tell an adult. It doesn’t make you less than, or a pansy or anything, sometimes it’s the best way to stand up for yourself.

  28. Posted by on August 1, 2011 at 15:08

    I like # 2! heheh

  29. Posted by on August 1, 2011 at 11:50

    Bullies definatly have nothing better to do, don’t they know that picking on us just makes them look pathedic?? They’ll learn 🙂

  30. Posted by on May 7, 2011 at 09:13

    haha..i love #1 i need to use that sometime soon..:]

    • Posted by on August 1, 2011 at 15:07

      I can’t wait to either!

  31. Posted by on April 5, 2011 at 17:42

    Thanks for posting this! I was bullied from 3rd to 5th grade, and it really is a serious issue. It’s also so opportune, since Kate Middleton is said to have been bullied as a young teen, hence her and William’s support of an anti-bullying charity.
    Keep up the good work!
    ~Kate

  32. Posted by on April 4, 2011 at 14:45

    If only I’d read these sooner. Thanks Nicole, bullies are the worst!!