Trusting in Your Season of Singleness and Letting Jesus “Take the Wheel”
Written by Christi Given | July 13, 2016
Recently, a PI Girl, posted on our chat forum about how she is growing in her faith, but also is yearning to get married. She realizes that sometimes God will change our desires to become HIS desires, and that when we delight in Him, he will grant us the “desires” of our heart (Psalm 37:4). Here is part of Marisa’s post on the Girl Talk College Girls Forum:
“I feel as though the more I want to learn about becoming a Godly woman, the more I yearn for my season of singleness to be over…. I got to the point of anxiety and tears that marriage would never be a season I would go through. I certainly have strong desires for motherhood and marriage, but misspoken words from a well-meaning Sunday school teacher have haunted me for close to five years now. They were that no matter how strongly I desire those [things] in my Christian walk, I may never have them. I’m still having a hard time believing that those words should not be taken to heart….” —Marisa, a PI reader
The key is that God wants us to delight in HIM and wants to be on the throne of our hearts, not have it be a guy or potential husband or any other idol, for that matter. There’s nothing wrong with wanting companionship, but if it brings about such fear, anxiety and even destruction, it indicates we are not really trusting God.
In every season, we go through battles and we can be on mountaintops and in valleys, yet we need to trust God before the triumphs and victories. My question for you, PI Girls, is this: Is Jesus everything to you? If everything in your life was stripped away, would He be enough? (Read Matthew 7:24-27.)
Think and pray about this…write down in your journal your thoughts, desires, prayers and petitions, and confess any idols that could be in the place of Christ in your heart.
Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. (Matthew 6:21)
Whether you are single or married does your value or worth go up or down? Do you get frazzled, feel unloved or become anxious if you’re not dating someone constantly or getting attention from guys? Where do you draw the boundary line of letting Jesus be enough? We can all ask these questions. Maybe this PI girl’s Sunday school teacher is right—maybe you and I won’t get married—but even if not, God is still good! His faithfulness doesn’t change based on timing, circumstances or even frustrations.
Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return… The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)
Navigating Seasons of Waiting
Look at Sarah and Abraham, who waited patiently for Isaac to come forth years and years later. Even though they took matters into their own hands and were frustrated (having Sarah’s servant Hagar sleep with Abraham, and resulting in their first son, Ishmael), God still blessed them. Ishmael wasn’t the chosen promised son, but God still blessed him and his descendants, and even though Sarah laughed at God when he told her she would give birth to a son even though she was old and YEARS beyond giving birth, God still got the glory. The Lord regulates time in eternity, so there are no timetables, and He faithfully gave Abraham and Sarah what He told them He would. This confirms that even though Sarah thought it was crazy to have a son at such an old age, God’s ways are still higher and He is able to do anything in our lives. Isn’t it funny, too, that the name Isaac means “laughter”?
Confession on Singleness
Here is more of PI reader Marisa’s post:
“I used to want marriage and motherhood for very selfish and ungodly reasons. None of them, if you ever asked me why I wanted to be a wife or mother, were ever based in scripture. Now they are. My season of singleness has been so hard, honestly, because I’ve made it hard for myself. It was a lot of saying I was trusting God with this incredibly important part of my life and not living that out. I’d believe that for all of five seconds, and the minute I stepped away from my quiet time, my anxieties and want for control would come flooding back and ready to stir up trouble.
“…[E]very single season, even every person’s season of singleness, looks different. Now you might be thinking, ‘Of course, everyone is different themselves and they come from different circumstances.’ That’s absolutely part of it. But I’m talking about the HEART of the issue. A person’s heart attitude in this issue.
“I’ve seen women decide to give God the key to their heart…and find The One by the next month. I’ve also seen women do the same and not get married until the age of 60. I don’t think that comparing each other’s seasons like that from either end is healthy.
“We can’t assume that the minute we tell God that we’re handing over control to Him, he’ll give us a boyfriend even if that’s been true for others, but we also can’t scare ourselves into thinking that if we give this over to God that he’ll have us wait 50 years for marriage, because both of those trains of thought will hold us back from having true peace in the decision. God is always in control, but He wants us to acknowledge that. It’s not manipulative, but it’s more like being in the car with someone who knows exactly where to go, what streets to take and everything. You know that, but you’re still being a backseat driver. It would bring both you and that person a lot more peace if you just let them do their thing and drive…. Let God be God because He knows what He’s doing and where you’re going in your walk with Him.” —Marisa
The Heart of the Matter
Love what Marisa has to say about letting Jesus “take the wheel,” like Carrie Underwood sings, but it is SO true. If Sarah and Abraham would have just trusted God and not manipulated the situation with Hagar and Ishmael, they would still have a son, Isaac. Yes, God is a good Father and still lavishes on us when we are in unbelief or when we are in fear or doubt, but precious, you CAN trust Him. It is a heart matter and believing that God really has you.
God is for you, loves you and, yes, has a divine plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). God has such big things in store for you (I can testify, for example: Nicole getting saved and starting Project Inspired after praying for her to be healed, be saved and help other girls….) Yes, God is REAL, He is alive, He is your Abba Father and, yes, He will do Ephesians 3:20, which is exceedingly, abundantly BEYOND what you could ever ask, think, dream, wish or pray for. Trust me, I have seen His glory.
God’s timing truly is different than ours, but then again, God is eternal and holds the universe at His fingertips. So of course we are not able to comprehend His power, majesty and holiness, but He will protect you like a daughter and will bless you with what you need at JUST the right time. Just like a Father, He will only give what you can handle and won’t give something to you that will take you off course or distract you from Him. Amen?