“So, are you STILL single?”
They ask me like maybe something is wrong with me. Or maybe they already know the answer. Or maybe I would have given in by now. It would be easy. It’s not like I haven’t met any good guys in the last couple of years. I have. It would be easy to say yes.
I know so many girls my age who are single and spend their time complaining. Has God forgotten me? The good guys are all taken already! When will Prince Charming come? How long will I be single? I’m pretty and funny, probably more so than her, so why does SHE get to have a boyfriend and I don’t? Haven’t I been a good Christian? I’m just so lonely. I’m tired of waiting. I know he’s not very devoted…but he went to church growing up, so maybe that kind of counts, plus he’s cute! So many single Christian girls who just aren’t content, comparing their portion of God-gifted manna with the food and flavor of the past or the future, missing the loaves of goodness scattered all around them.
I’m twenty-one. A sister. A grocery store cashier. A daughter. A junior in college. An aunt. A dog mom. A peace keeper. A niece. A granddaughter. A best friend. A Christian. I’ve been given so much. I live a good life surrounded by good people with the greatest of intentions. I have time and opportunity to make a difference in the community of people around me. I don’t have commitments and responsibilities and obligations. I don’t have to share. I can watch the movies I want to see. I can spend my money on my niece and nephews or my younger siblings. I can buy just as many coffee drinks as I want to. I can have a bum day without thinking that maybe I should try a little more to impress somebody.
“It’s not that I love waiting. It’s that I love the one I’m waiting for.”
I’ve worn my purity ring since I was in the eighth grade. At the time, I’m pretty sure I didn’t understand the significance or the blessing my parents were giving me by talking so openly and encouraging me to respect myself and demand others to [respect me] as well.
I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris starts out with a story about a girl at the altar, preparing to say her wedding vows, and all these girls start standing up in a line next to her groom, holding on to his hand. She asks him who they are, what’s going on, and he says, ‘These are girls from my past; they don’t mean anything to me now…but I’ve given a part of my heart to each of them.” And she says, “But…I thought your heart was mine?” And he responds, “It is…everything that’s left is yours.” Even though this story is from a girl’s viewpoint, it could just as easily be the groom asking these questions, the girl saying, “Well, I gave my heart away a little at a time…and now what’s left is yours!” That touched me back then, and it has stayed with me. I love the one I’m waiting for. I’m not wasting mutual time with someone who isn’t taking me seriously.
John Waller’s lyrics jumped at me from the radio the other day: “While I’m waiting, I will serve you. While I’m waiting, I will worship. While I’m waiting, I will not faint, I’ll be running the race, even while I wait….” I also heard Kari Jobe speaking about how single Christian girls should use that singleness to its full advantage, and instead of complaining, we should rejoice that we get that extra time with God, with the distractions to a minimum.
We’re doing the Missing Pieces Bible study by Jennifer Rothschild at church, and last week she talked about how important it is for us to feel recognized and intimately known by God. Nathaniel (from John chapter 1) was going about his daily life, settling into his routine, and Philip called him to come and follow Christ. Nathaniel asked Jesus, “But how do you know me?” and Jesus responded, “I saw you when you were yet still under the fig tree going about your business.”
If we choose to live with purpose, with the greatest of intent and desire to honor God in all things, all parts of our lives, in each area—if we run the race without fainting even while we wait, while we are going about our business—then I believe that our blessings will be twice as good.
Ephesians 4:1 encourages us to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. We need to embrace and hold onto our beauty, never settling for something less than what God has planned for us. “And so it was, that [she] having waited long, and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised” (Hebrews 6:15). And who wouldn’t want to run toward that?