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Love

Waiting with Grace by PI Girl Samantha

“So, are you STILL single?”

They ask me like maybe something is wrong with me. Or maybe they already know the answer. Or maybe I would have given in by now. It would be easy. It’s not like I haven’t met any good guys in the last couple of years. I have. It would be easy to say yes.

I know so many girls my age who are single and spend their time complaining. Has God forgotten me? The good guys are all taken already! When will Prince Charming come? How long will I be single? I’m pretty and funny, probably more so than her, so why does SHE get to have a boyfriend and I don’t? Haven’t I been a good Christian? I’m just so lonely. I’m tired of waiting. I know he’s not very devoted…but he went to church growing up, so maybe that kind of counts, plus he’s cute! So many single Christian girls who just aren’t content, comparing their portion of God-gifted manna with the food and flavor of the past or the future, missing the loaves of goodness scattered all around them.

I’m twenty-one. A sister. A grocery store cashier. A daughter. A junior in college. An aunt. A dog mom. A peace keeper. A niece. A granddaughter. A best friend. A Christian. I’ve been given so much. I live a good life surrounded by good people with the greatest of intentions. I have time and opportunity to make a difference in the community of people around me. I don’t have commitments and responsibilities and obligations. I don’t have to share. I can watch the movies I want to see. I can spend my money on my niece and nephews or my younger siblings. I can buy just as many coffee drinks as I want to. I can have a bum day without thinking that maybe I should try a little more to impress somebody.

“It’s not that I love waiting. It’s that I love the one I’m waiting for.”

I’ve worn my purity ring since I was in the eighth grade. At the time, I’m pretty sure I didn’t understand the significance or the blessing my parents were giving me by talking so openly and encouraging me to respect myself and demand others to [respect me] as well.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris starts out with a story about a girl at the altar, preparing to say her wedding vows, and all these girls start standing up in a line next to her groom, holding on to his hand. She asks him who they are, what’s going on, and he says, ‘These are girls from my past; they don’t mean anything to me now…but I’ve given a part of my heart to each of them.” And she says, “But…I thought your heart was mine?” And he responds, “It is…everything that’s left is yours.” Even though this story is from a girl’s viewpoint, it could just as easily be the groom asking these questions, the girl saying, “Well, I gave my heart away a little at a time…and now what’s left is yours!” That touched me back then, and it has stayed with me. I love the one I’m waiting for. I’m not wasting mutual time with someone who isn’t taking me seriously.

John Waller’s lyrics jumped at me from the radio the other day: “While I’m waiting, I will serve you. While I’m waiting, I will worship. While I’m waiting, I will not faint, I’ll be running the race, even while I wait….” I also heard Kari Jobe speaking about how single Christian girls should use that singleness to its full advantage, and instead of complaining, we should rejoice that we get that extra time with God, with the distractions to a minimum.

We’re doing the Missing Pieces Bible study by Jennifer Rothschild at church, and last week she talked about how important it is for us to feel recognized and intimately known by God. Nathaniel (from John chapter 1) was going about his daily life, settling into his routine, and Philip called him to come and follow Christ. Nathaniel asked Jesus, “But how do you know me?” and Jesus responded, “I saw you when you were yet still under the fig tree going about your business.”

If we choose to live with purpose, with the greatest of intent and desire to honor God in all things, all parts of our lives, in each area—if we run the race without fainting even while we wait, while we are going about our business—then I believe that our blessings will be twice as good.

Ephesians 4:1 encourages us to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. We need to embrace and hold onto our beauty, never settling for something less than what God has planned for us. “And so it was, that [she] having waited long, and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised” (Hebrews 6:15). And who wouldn’t want to run toward that?

Image: Lightstock | Mattea Photography

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12 Comments

  1. Book-nerd

    Posted by Book-nerd on November 29, 2014 at 20:49

    Wow. This article is very well written!! Thank you for writing this, Samantha. I needed to hear that reminder that we should love the one we are waiting for. And embrace the time we have right now as single women to serve God and grow in a closer relationship with Jesus Christ! Thank you soo much.

  2. Speak4Elohim

    Posted by Speak4Elohim on September 30, 2014 at 20:18

    While I agree with most of this, I am continually frustrated with this “Don’t give away a piece of your heart” nonsense. Yes, we are to remain pure in heart and mind as well as body, but could you PLEASE come up with something, you know, Biblically correct? Did you EVER stop and think of how utterly ridiculous and contradictory that is?! What is the first thing a child asks when their mother is pregnant, “Mommy, are you going to love me less when the baby gets here?” and mother quickly assures her child that there is no limit to the love she can give, and she will not love any of her children less than another, no matter how many more she may have. Also, in the Bible we are told to “Love your neighbor as yourself” and “Love your enemies” God would not instruct us to do these things if we had a limited amount of love to give, or if every person we connected with would steal away a piece of your heart for eternity. If this were true, then how could love still remain in the end. “In the end these three remain; faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Dear gracious! this “Piece of your heart” nonsense it pretty much contradictory to the whole Bible, and the message of love and grace that we are to WHOLEHEARTEDLY spread unto the nations. Please think of this before you repeat those words.

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by HisLeast on September 28, 2014 at 10:13

    So helpful!! It’s something I’ve been struggling with also <3

  4. KateSonrisa

    Posted by KateSonrisa on September 27, 2014 at 19:21

    After I dated one of my best friends as a freshmen, I made a commitment to God not to date in high school and to wait until I find a guy who is a serious about his relationship with God and following where he leads as I am.

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by BriBriC77 on September 26, 2014 at 00:59

    I was just talking with a friend about this today, and I saw this blog. This is definitely confirmation that God’s timing is perfect (Eccl 3:11). And He even guides us in what to do while we wait…seek His face and intimacy with Him. When we learn to love and be loved by the King of Kings, we can for sure be prepared for when our “prince” comes according to His will.

  6. RheaJanae

    Posted by RheaJanae on September 22, 2014 at 19:39

    I really needed to hear this not because I am trying to get in relationship but the fact that since i attend ORU, I see couples and sometimes I catch myself wondering. I got the confirmation I needed and confidence in the fact that there is nothing wrong in waiting. #GodsTiming (:

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by elshadais.hailu on September 22, 2014 at 19:23

    Thank you! This is so encouraging, especially to know I am not the only one feeling this way.

  8. beccanne18

    Posted by beccanne18 on September 22, 2014 at 19:22

    This summer, I felt the same way! That God was just making me wait, but instead of “waiting” I learned that I should spend this time with him, and not just waiting around for the right guy to come around. I wrote a blog about it too!

    Here’s the link!

    http://becca-behindthescenesofdefinesweet.blogspot.com/2014/08/being-single-is-blessing.html

  9. GraceGirl1379

    Posted by GraceGirl1379 on September 22, 2014 at 10:40

    I like this article a lot. Even though I am not going to date until I’m at least 17, I often feel a little bit left out. I’ve never had a guy ask me out. Occasionally I look at my friends, who are in a happy relationship or almost-relationship, and I am frustrated. I know I’m great, and I’m proud of who I am, but the only guys who have ever really liked me are the guys who are *ahem* geeky or annoying because I try to be nice to them so they feel included. I definitely don’t want to date yet, but… when you have a crush on a guy and see him crushing on a girl who’s prettier and just so happens to be more self-confident than you….

  10. psitsjen

    Posted by psitsjen on September 22, 2014 at 03:02

    Wow. That was an amazing article. Thank you so much!

  11. jesslt

    Posted by jesslt on September 21, 2014 at 13:36

    Amen, Samantha,

    I’m 22 never dated, never been kissed. I have to admit in middle and high school that wasn’t my choice. I wanted that so badly. God changed my perspective on the significance of the wait. He has given me a gift to save my first kiss for my husband, when in I would have easily given it to any cute guy who would have asked. God has given me this season to grow closer to Him, grow into the woman he wants me to become in the time He has planned for me for the purposes He has for me in this life.

  12. VintageGirl

    Posted by VintageGirl on September 21, 2014 at 08:59

    That was amazing and so encouraging for me. Thank you so much!