What a Bikini Taught Me About Modesty

    I bought my first bikini when I moved away from home. I grew up wearing tankinis and one-piece suits out of respect for my parents and the Christian culture in which I was raised. When I went to college, the Christian girls I knew didn’t share my conviction. They often asked me why I wore my more “modest” suit. When it came time to answer their questions, the only thing I could think was “I do it because my parents taught me to.” Eventually this excuse didn’t even convince me, and I bought a cute bikini for that summer in the South.

    At first, fitting in with the other girls made me feel better about myself. Now I was “normal”—just like everyone else! But as the summer wore on, I questioned my reasons for buying the swimsuit, and eventually I put it away entirely—and not because of my parents or my church.


    What Changed My Mind?

    In my teens and early twenties, I really struggled with confidence. I wanted to be liked and accepted by people, especially other girls. One of the reasons I bought my bikini was to boost my self-confidence. But I quickly realized that wearing a skimpier swimsuit couldn’t have a lasting effect on my confidence because it was an external fix to an internal problem. Dressing up a lack of confidence doesn’t “fix” the problem—it just covers it for a little while. Instead of helping me become more confident, it made me a spiritually weaker person who depended on my outward appearance for validation and approval.

    I also realized that I was advertising my body—something I wanted to have valued and treasured—to the eyes of any passing guy. I had been working with non-Christian guys for many years and I’d heard the comments they made about the girls at car washes and on the beach. I knew that by exposing my body to the public eye, I had devalued something precious, and I began to search the Bible to see what it said about my value as a woman.

    As I studied God’s Word concerning my decision, I came to understand the incredible value God placed on my body. In the Old Testament, God’s glory was housed in the richly decorated, golden Temple. Now as Christians, His glory (through the Holy Spirit) resides within each of our bodies. We ARE the new “temples” of God’s glory (1 Corinthians 6:19)! In Genesis, I discovered that woman was God’s final touch on Creation. She was the crowning glory of all God made.

    I also noticed that it was after Adam and Eve sinned that they were given coverings for their bodies. Modesty—the covering—was given to man and woman to protect them from the shame of nakedness. God was preserving the beauty of their bodies from a sinful world. Suddenly I realized that my bikini was not advertising my God-given value, but advertising the beauty of my body to a world that would never appreciate it the way God intended.


    Modesty Isn’t Just About the Guys

    I grew up thinking modesty was just about helping guys in their battle against lust. But modesty isn’t about preventing men from lusting after women. While we should desire to help Christian men uphold purity, we have our own responsibility to walk purely. This means that in every decision, we shouldn’t be asking, “How does this make me feel?” or “How far can I go?” but “How holy can I be?”

    Modesty is humility in action. This is why Christian girls should be the very BEST at it! We have been given the gracious love of God. Not only that, but God has explicitly outlined just how valuable we are to Him. The fact that Almighty God loves imperfect girls like us is humbling, and our response is to worship God in every area of life, including how we dress. In realizing how much God loved me and how beautifully He designed my body, I realized that I was devaluing His best intentions by wearing my bikini, and I put it away for good.


    Recognize Your Value

    I’m a new mom to a little girl. Someday she and I will have this same conversation about modesty, and I will give her the same encouragement: Recognize that you, and your body, have value. Don’t let the culture tell you that value comes from taking off more clothes—that’s not possible. Value is something with which we are born, and it must be preserved with great love and care. Because I already love my daughter, I hope she makes the same decision to recognize and preserve her value.

    In every decision we make, we shouldn’t be asking “How far can I go?” or “How much can I get away with?” but “How holy can I be?” I hope you ask that question in every area of life—not just at the pool. In seeking holiness, we become more like Jesus. He is the One who gave you value and wants you to embrace it to the fullest. By embracing your value, you will reflect the kind of confidence that no swimsuit or “hot body” could ever provide. And more importantly, you will be embracing the love of God, who longs for you to be appreciated for who you are—not just what you look like.

    To read more about God’s intentions for modesty, read Phylicia’s post “Dear Girl, You Can’t Shed Shame by Shedding Clothes.”

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.


    1. Dear Christian girls wearing a bikini does not make you go to hell nor is it immoral what matters is your soul intention. If you’re wearing a bikini that makes you look like a slut with everything hanging out simply for the sole purpose of making some guy want to have sex with you than that is wrong. But there is nothing wrong with wearing a bikini that covers your privates’ properly that looks good on you, and let’s be honest we all want to look and feel attractive so if a decent guy takes a second look at you there is nothing wrong with that either. I think It’s downright shameful of you to make it seem like we are less of a Christian if we wear bikinis, just because your parents were strict and it was subtly imbedded in you to hide your body as much as possible in order to be a good Christian. My parents always joked that when a guy looks at you you should make him wanna get saved. It’s a just a joke but if our body is a temple and temples are beautiful and made to be seen isn’t that the same reason real temples aren’t covered with a giant sack. I’m not not saying if you got it flaunt because flaunting is not always necessary. I think a better saying is if you got it respectively accentuate it, and wear what you feel good in and if that means buying a bikini then go out and get yourself one! Remember there is nothing wrong with sexy as long as it’s not slutty.

      P.S. I live in Cali so all the CG’s I know wear bikinis and one pieces.

      • First off, know that I am saying this out of love, not out of hate….

        There’s a reason the word, “sexy” contains the word, “sex”– it helps to stimulate that drive. If you are the type who, like myself, would encourage a young man to patiently wait til he’s hitched to have intercourse, then it would probably not be the best idea to encourage his urges before then. IK from personal experience w/ this sort of thing that, yes, many guys can lust after you even if you are not wearing a bikini or something else immodest; however, wearing something like that gives very little to the imagination since it’s right out in plain view for all to see. IMHO, it is basically wearing waterproof lingerie. Let me ask you something: would you be caught out in public in nothing but your undergarments? If that thought makes you uncomfortable, then why on earth would you be wearing a bikini? (fun fact: when the bikini first came out it was SO scandalous the inventor could find NO ONE to model it– until a French STRIPPER offered to. Just a lil history.) Just sayin’.

        As for the “if they’re doing it, it must be OK” mentality…”If everyone jumped off a bridge to drown themselves, would you do it, too?”

        Again, I am saying this out of love. You seem like the type of young woman who would be informed, but please do a little more research on things like these; experience doesn’t always speak for/by itself. And I’m not saying that wearing a bikini will rocket you instantly into hell. I’m saying it seems inconsiderate to wear one around Godly young men who are doing their very, very best to stay pure and true for their wives/future wives. A “second look” does not always mean it’s one taken with pure thoughts. God’s temples are beautiful, yes, but He also asks us to keep them pure for Him. Would you trash His Holy Temple with impurity? Yes, we ladies love to look our very best, but there are ways we can do that without showcasing parts of us that only our future hubbies should be seeing (see the “Modest is Hottest” line on here for ideas).

        God Bless, and hope you have a good one!

        • “I’m saying this out of love” to a person you don’t even know is just a way to say “I’m right and you’re wrong and I’m going to judge you right now, but first let me justify my judgment.”

          Let me address your points:
          1. They are just like underwear. Ok… first off, bikinis vary widely. Secondly, you’ve clearly never even TOUCHED a bikini. They are about 4 times as thick as panties or a bra. They are designed for swimming, unlike a bra and panties that often have tranlucent bits or leave 1/4-1/2 of your boob uncovered (depending on the syle) Besides, is it ok for men to wear swim trunks? Well, HOW DARE THEY, it is swim trunks are just like waterproof boxer shorts!!!
          2. They were scandalous in the past. So was not wearing a corset. So was wearing pants. So was showing your ankles. So was leaving your hair uncovered. So was showing your knees. So was not wearing a petticoat. So was…. do I really need to continue? Styles and standards change. If you cannot accept that, then you better be dressed like Mary was in Bible times.
          3. It’s inconsiderate to people who struggle with that sin. If you wish to apply this standard there, you MUST apply it to everything. Be consistent! You cannot wear jewelry or designer clothing, or have a nice house or car, because it tempts people to covet. You cannot eat or drink in public- you might tempt someone to gluttony. You can’t compliment someone, you might stir up pride. You can’t show off or display any of your talents, because it might make someone jealous. You can’t take a rest in front of other because they might be tempted by sloth. etc, etc, etc. Why is modesty the ONLY topic to which you try to hold people to an absurd, unreasonable bunch of rules?
          The fact is the in our society, normal swimwear is going to tempt these guys you’re so worried about. You’re asking for 100s of people, many whom are not even Christians to change their attire to please one guy who has a problem with it, even though that guy KNOWS that that is normal beach attire. It’s the equivalent of a recovering alcoholic walking into a bar and claiming all the people drinking are inconsiderate of the temptation he faces. If alcohol bothers you, don’t go to a bar. If bikinis bother you, you don’t go to the beach. Why is such a simple concept so imposible to grasp?

      • Hey again RiQashan! I feel like if we as women of Christ dress ourselves in a way that is presentably in front of everyone we will have less problems. For example think of your highest authority figure in your life. Would the way you dress be presentbly in front of him/her 100% of the time. I like to ask myself this question a lot, because I often lose sight of it. Wearing a modest bikini with a bunch of close girl friends I don’t think is an issue. Now when a picture is posted or guys start to see- that can just cause trouble. I am assuming you respect yourself – and that is awesome! So as being respectfully to yourself don’t you want other people’s opinions of you to be pure and not lustful or unjust (this is inevitable because of the sinful world we live in but dressing as a representation of Christ can help prevent and reduce this) .

        Another thing is as being the daughter of a true king he should and can be our fulffilment. It will not come from men, marriage, kids, etc. Don’t lose sight of this truth it is incredible! I hope you have an incredible day! Praying for you!! Xo

      • I don’t think you understand how much seeing a woman’s body affects a man. Any man can control his words and actions, but his thoughts are a whole different story! My husband shares with me freely, and it is soooooo hard for a Godly man to be around a woman with a bikini. His brain is hardwired to think sexual thoughts when seeing a woman’s unclothed body, and there is no way at at all to be modest with little to no clothing on. This is a plain fact. I love wearing a bikini for my husband alone, but I cry with him and pray with him and do all I can to help him keep his thoughts pure around other women. It hurts to see Christian women callously say things like “its up to him to control his thoughts” or “you can be modest in a bikini!” This is just mean, and shows how little they know or care for men’s struggle in this area. Great article by the way.

    2. I really like this. When modesty became my thing (not just what my dad told me I could wear or not wear) was when I realized that I did it for the guys around me. I do it because I care about them.

    3. Phylicia, what an awesome and spot-on article! Takes guts and sincerity to post such a controversial article and open oneself up to a possible onslaught of ridicule and persecution upon so doing. You nailed it! God bless you for your honesty, courage, loyalty to your Christian values, and for your desire to stand for His holiness!

    4. PinkyPie, I’m afraid you’ve missed the point entirely and was surprised at your censure of a fellow sister’s desire to simply express what she found in God’s Word. Be that as it may, you declare that wearing a bikini is not immoral. This statement is not true if we are to base our definition of morality on what we find in God’s Word. (I Timothy 2:9) There is no suggestion in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation that a Christian woman dress sexy, be sexy, or–God forbid–parade around in what amounts to a bra and her underwear for any reason whatsoever. This mentality comes from the father of lies and it has infected nearly the whole of Christianity.

      As far as “sexiness,” anything sexual that is viewed by God in a positive light is restricted to the sacred (and very “covered-up”) act between a man and his wife. (Hebrews 13:4) The idea of God’s people dressing “sexy” is abomination according to the Scriptures and cannot be substantiated from a godly Christian standpoint. If you disagree, I challenge you to provide the supporting Scriptures.

      Of the VIRTUOUS woman in Proverbs 31, it is said that her price is “far above rubies.” She “girdeth her loins with strength” (not bikinis, vs. 17). “Strength and HONOUR are her clothing” (not sexiness or revealing, sexy attire), vs. 25. Finally, verse 30 tells us straight up how God views earthly beauty and favor: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” The Bible is not unclear about the matter.

      Here is an appreciable study on the subject:

      And here is an engaging article on what happens in men’s minds (scientifically) when gazing on scantily-clad women and how those women are then labeled/objectified accordingly in male brains. If a man will be truthful, he will tell you that ALL that comes of his seeing you in a bikini is fodder for his sexual fantasies . . . not his desire to marry you, father your children, or to be a proper Christian leader, much less to love and respect you.

      I Peter 1:14-16: There is no record of our Lord and Christ donning cut-offs or beach boxers or questionably revealing His body. We are commanded to be holy as He.

      Per your statement on temples: Temples were not “made to be seen;” temples were instituted as houses of worship and adoration to God alone. Would you walk into a temple that advertised racy pictures on its marquis or whose stained-glass windows sported beach bodies, cleavage, ripped pecs, badonkas galore, and babes in bikinis? Would you actually expect to worship God (which is the whole purpose of a temple) in such a place? Perhaps you are not aware of the fact that the very temple/tabernacle that Moses built—which boasted beauty and majesty untold inside—was “clothed” outside with humble, plain, and very concealing coverings? (Goat hair, ram skins, and badger skins . . . not “look-at-this-stuff” trappings meant to show off the goods.) Even God commanded that the glory of His holy things was to be properly concealed in humble attire. And, yes, your body is the temple of the HOLY Ghost. “And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? . . .” (II Cor. 6:16,17)

      As if all this weren’t enough, Proverbs 7 gives an indisputable record of God’s views on a spiritually immoral woman (“strange woman”) and her attire. Since God openly decries the “attire of an harlot” and the damnable ways of such a woman, should we not seek to be removed from such behavior and attire as professing Christians? It’s safe to say that the harlots in biblical days donned much more than a mere bra and underwear!! So, as for the argument that bikinis are not immoral, I give you Proverbs 7. Here is an AWESOME article on this subject.

      Finally, Phylicia is not trying to tar women as “less of a Christian” by simply publicizing her convictions. The Bible is clear that revealing attire is displeasing to the Lord, and it’s up to us if we want to be found in His favor as obedient children (I Peter 1:14) or if we will turn a blind eye to His wishes and commands and, instead, satisfy our own carnal appetites. Keep in mind that whatever we sow, we reap.

      • 1 Peter says nothing about how much clothign a woman must wear. Twisting scripture to suit your narrow minded opinion is equal to lying about God’s word. There is nothing in the Bible that says or even remotely implies that it is at all immoral to wear cultural appropriate clothing for each different occasion.
        The judgment you’re spewing are from your own opinion, nothing more, there is NOTHING is scripture that backs up your OPINION that bikinis are immoral. There ARE verse that say lying and misusing scripture is wrong though. Maybe you didn’t read that part of the Bible?

        Of the VIRTUOUS (what a person wears does not determine whether she is virtuous. I’ve seen plenty of women who wore long skirts and hair in bun and covered their elbows and collar-bones and slept around- the idea that you think women who wear certain clothes are virtuous and other are not is just idiotic) woman in Proverbs 31, it is said that her price is “far above rubies.” She “girdeth her loins with strength” (not long skirts or one-piece swimsuits, vs. 17). “Strength and HONOUR are her clothing” (not long dresses, shorts of a certain length, long sleeves), vs. 25. Finally, verse 30 tells us straight up how God views earthly beauty and favor: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” The Bible is not unclear about the matter.
        Bible is not at all unclear that CLOTHES are not what is important. Clothing doesn’t determine your character. Clothing doesn’t determine your strength, your goodness, your dignity, your virture, or anything else about you. VANITY (the love of beauty) can exist in women in one-pieces or swimdresses or evening gowns or burkas or pretty knee-length dresses. ANYONE can be vain, wearing or not wearing anything. Wear a bikini has literally nothing to do with vanity. If it was about vanity, why would I wear one when I’m on the deserted beach alone? Why would women whose bodies aren’t deemed “beautiful” by society where them? This arguement is SO egotistical and judgmental on your part, because you assume you know everyone’s motivations and heart. The Bible is definitely clear that judging people’s hearts is none of your business- do you think you know better than God?

    5. Hello! I came across your article on facebook and when I read it, well I was moved.. My parents have always taught me to love Jesus and to love myself, but they didn’t ever talk much about modesty. My mom was very leanient about my clothing but ever since I was little I always felt this inner desire to cover up a bit more than what my mother said was ‘ok’. I know this is like polar opposite of most girls in their teens who want to wear less clothing then there moms desire! Infact I was even made fun of by my mom and sister for dressing ‘too conservatively’. So I changed. I stopped making sure my sleeves were a little higher, stopped having my neckline a little higher, and I bought a bikini.. I thought that these things would make me not feel like a prudent dork and would give me confidence and my mothers ‘fashion approval”. Yes, she stopped telling me I dressed ‘Amish’ but when I would walk out the door and see guys looking at me and talking with me, I knew that it was for all of the wrong reasons. That they weren’t admiring my amazing brain that I had worked so hard to fill it with so much information, and they were seeing the love I had for Jesus, and the desire I had to serve him. No, they just seeing some’thing’ that could give them pleasure. I know that not all guys allow themselves to think this way but in high school hormones are running crazy. When I read your article it confirmed what I thought was to be true in my head but because of what other people told me was how you should dress I told myself that I was wrong, and what they were saying was the right way to dress. After reading this I now know that wearing a one-piece, a higher neckline, and wider sleeves not only is the right thing to do to help guys not to feel ungodly thoughts, but also to thank God and value our bodies in a sacred way. Yes, I am going to here some negative comments about wearing ‘the one-piece’ but its my body and I want to not only have an inner holiness but also an outward holiness, and yes, I won’t receive as much attention from boys, but I know that the attention that I will receive will be the most sincere. Thank you for inspiring me, and I hope that your daughter will be as wise and inspirational as you.

    6. I first applaud you for sticking to your guns about modesty. It takes strength of character for this. Good for you! But I think it’s important to emphasize that this was about your *choice* and your desire to be comfortable with yourself and your values rather than to follow trends, which is a great and positive message. I support this!
      But then I begin to disagree with you at your comment, “I grew up thinking modesty was just about helping guys in their battle against lust.” I know this was not your main point, but It just really saddens me that girls are taught to think this way. Yes, I agree that modesty is important. I tend to feel more comfortable in modest clothing, and it is viewed as more professional. But that’s a personal choice. It is not OUR responsibility as women to dress in a way that helps men with their “battle against lust.” This phrase, quite frankly is just downright ridiculous. I’ve always hated the mentality that it somehow falls upon the shoulders of women to change the way we dress to help men “control themselves.” It’s sort of like the idea that women dressing a certain way are “asking for it.” If a man cannot control his actions, that falls on HIM, not you, ladies. Bottom line: dress in a way that you feel comfortable and respectful. Dress for YOU.

      • Actually, as Christian women it is our responsibility to help our brothers and sisters in Christ not to stumble in what ever their particular struggle is. As women or young women with sons and brothers it is our responsibility to help them with things they might be having challenges with. For unbelieving women I agree with you. They aren’t biblically taught. They aren’t expected to follow scripture they have no clue. Their eyes are covered with scales that essentially leave them blind to Our Lords teaching. In this world we are all responsible for our own actions. As Christ followers we should have it in our hearts to help each other lovingly, joyfully, peacefully, patiently, kindly, goodly, faithfully, gently and self controlledly.

      • I both agree and dissagree here.

        You’re right, it’s not our job to change how men think. Although, that doesn’t mean that we should encourage girls to go out dressed like a street walker. That’s just a little much, and if you’re wearing the clothes a hooker would wear you are literally saying “I want you to come hit on me and say dirty things to me.” Notice I am not excusing rape here, ’cause a man can control that particular impulse and he should. Always. But if you don’t want men to talk to you that way, you should probably not dress like that.

      • 1 Corinthians 8:13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

        Ro 14:13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

        Ro 14:21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.

    7. As a girl who lives in Florida and fifteen minutes away from like, four different beaches, bikinis have been a never-ending struggle for me. Florida sells swimsuits like northern states sell winter coats, so over the busy season of summer, they’re like in every single store. And, of course, the bikinis are always the ones with the cutest patterns and cuts. Tankinis–the swimsuits I am required to wear–normally have far less adorable patterns, and it’s hard to find one that I actually like (since I am the pickiest person on the planet). My parents would never allow me to wear a bikini, yet I always feel a bit ridiculous going to the beach in my brightly-colored tankini. Would I be comfortable wearing a bikini? Sure. Because I’m comfortable with my body and don’t care what people think of my appearance. Would I wear one? Probably not. Because my parents and the girls around me have taught me to value my body in the way you have described.

      It’s very inspiring to see that there are others here who feel the same way. Thank you for being so bold in sharing your thoughts about them, and for doing it in a gentle fashion.

      • I totally understand! Tankini tops are hard to find in cut design. Try amazon! Seriously, they have great stuff and are so good about returns and exchanges!
        I also personally wear board shorts. Uber comfortable

    8. Soo… Here’s the thing…. I’m LDS. My religion is VERY modest. But I prefer bikinis. Not because I feel sexy in them, or because of any other reason other than: They fit.

      I’m built in a way that I can’t wear one piece swimsuits, and they don’t make tankinis in a size that can fit me, unless I spend over $40 on a swimsuit (Which I am unwilling to do due to the fact that I would much rather make rent than pay more than $15 for a “modest” swimsuit.).

      You can, in fact, be modest in a bikini. It is possible. Showing your stomach is not a big deal. Now, if you buy skimpy bikinis that don’t fully cover your breasts and your privates then, yes, you are being immodest and are going to attract unwanted attention. But modesty in a bikini can be done, and I think I do a rather good job at it.

    9. I love that people can get to a point where they care more about what God thinks than what anyone else thinks. And I agree that everything we do, including what we wear, is a form of worship.

      Where I diverge is whether a woman can be worshipful in a bikini. My belly button is not a private part. Men have them, too, yet men do not have to consider whether they show respect to God when exposing navels on a beach. I respect that some believe God wants them in a tankini, just as some believe God wants their hair or face covered, and I admire the devotion their sacrifice represents. But personally, I do not believe that God has an opinion on the bikini question.

      I grew up wearing a tee and shorts over a swimsuit. I started wearing bikinis when I was first married and completely disinterested in another man’s attention. I live in a very conservative place, where I assume 9 out of 10 people at the pool disapprove of my choice. So if it were an issue of approval, the bikini would be out. I am aware of the attention I get, “positive” or negative, but neither are important. I suppose, but highly doubt, it is possible a man could stumble in his thoughts over my mommy body in a bikini, but if so such a man would likely also stumble over me in makeup with salon-fresh hair and a cute winter coat, and I don’t believe God faults me for gussying up (unless it was my intention to inspire stumbling). My husband is in healthcare, and he routinely beholds what swimsuits were meant to cover without sexualizing it. The way I see it, sexualization is mostly in the eye of the beholder.

      I guess all I mean to say is, for you it is an issue of respecting God and yourself and not seeking the wrong kind of approval. For me respecting God and myself and not seeking the wrong kind of approval has as much to with my taste in swimsuits as my taste in shoes.

    10. Thank you, Phylicia. Every time I see a woman talk about modesty and her decision to be pleasing to God rather than man, it is attacked. Yeah, people thank you for your position, but then they go into how you’re wrong. Sentence by sentience, your message is dissected. Personally, I am aroused by an attractive woman in a bathing suit. I am aroused by cleavage, I am aroused by dresses and skirts that show a woman’s thigh. In the church, there are plenty of women who dress in a way that is distracting to me as a male. Do they not know? Are they that ignorant of what they are doing? It is my job to look away and control my mind, but in the church, there is an expectation that people are there to please God. Now, let’s take that to the beach. First, a Christian should be cautious going to places where males and females are immodest. Women can lust after men the same way men lust after women. This is not just a male problem. As a man, I need to cover myself too. Going shirtless is not appropriate. Wearing shorts or tight pants that reveal my manhood, are not appropriate. I appreciate your message. There will continue to be those who will oppose it. When someone wants to be able to do what they want to do (putting aside what God wants them to do) people tend to defend their behavior.

    11. (I posted this on the other article about bikinis, but I meant to post it on this one)

      I don’t see anything wrong with bikinis. I don’t go flaunting anything in it (I have small boobs and not that big of a butt, so I have nothing TO flaunt), and the truth of the matter is that guys will look no matter what you wear. I was on a church thing, and we went to the beach, I was wearing a tankini, and a middle aged man hit on me in that.

      I’ve been stared at while I’m walking down the street in knee length shorts, and a modest shirt.

      Bottom line is, guys will stare no matter what. Their brains are hard-wired to find women attraction (as our brains are hard wired to find men attractive), so wear what you feel comfortable in

    12. Wow -these are some great thoughts. Modesty is sorely lacking in society and it can be so sickening. I’m glad God taught you so much about modesty and that you are willing to share it with others. I hope more woman will raise the bar and set higher dress standards to honor God and the wonderful Temple He has given us.

    13. I think it honestly depends on why you’re wearing a bikini. Like, I might wear something that showed my stomach (although not a bikini; too many possible wardrobe malfunctions and other stuff) because of how hot it can get, you know? I think there’s too much emphasis put on how we girls owe it to the Christian guys in our lives to be modest, but I don’t feel like we should be blamed for their inability to resist temptation. If we’re wearing the bikini or whatever to show off our “assets” or something, then yeah, it’s kinda our fault. But we can’t be blamed for someone else’s sins. I think a lot of girls feel guilt over what they wear when they don’t have to.

    14. It’s true that we can’t gain value when we take off more clothes, but we also can’t lose value when we do that. “Preserving” value is something that we do with cars, houses, and paintings-with objects. My body is not an object, so I can’t do anything to preserve or lose its value. The amount or type of clothing we wear has nothing to do with our value. So I say if you feel more comfortable wearing a one piece suit, go for it. If you’d rather wear a bikini, go for it. Guys who want to lust are going to do it regardless of your swimsuit style.

    15. I wouldn’t wear my bra and underwear out in public, so I don’t wear a bikini because I think it looks similar to that and I see the beach as a public area.
      If you want to wear a bikini, then I can’t make you not. This is just why I don’t wear one.

        • Same! I wear boy’s board shorts with my halter top one-piece. I’f it’s a youth event, or I want to avoid sunburns, I also throw on a rash guard. That attire also helps avoid rashes when I surf!

      • Yah that’s kinda how I see it and also like I want to help boys to not sin even if I wasn’t wearing a bikini to get attention from boys i my intentions don’t make were boys don’t list so I just try and help them out but its not like I want to go around shaming girls who I think differently

    16. Im Christian, and don’t see any problems wearing a bikini. I dont think about guys either. I just think about the beach, the water and suntan. It just never crossed my mind. A bikini is just a bikini that you wear to swim in the beach, not something I would wear anywhere else in public.
      I dont know, its just what I think.

    17. A lot of people say that dressing for yourself is selfish. But I think they’re misunderstanding the mindset. If we’re focused on God and trying to live to His standard, then we’re not going to be comfortable wearing something that or behaving in a way that is immodest. Whether other people think what you’re wearing is immodest is irrelevant to the conversation. There is always someone who disapproves of your clothing. Beyond asking the advice of parents or trusted friends and mentors, whether others think your clothing is modest enough is not important. It’s what you believe is right, through prayer and the word. If you feel there’s nothing wrong with a bikini then go ahead. If you feel you should wear long dresses and cover your hair then do that. As children, we are free to begin forming our own standard of what is modest within our parent’s rules and guidelines. As we become adults, we are given more freedom still, and having formed our standards already, should be trusted with making our own decisions regarding clothing.
      We need to stop teaching modesty from the perspective of somehow stopping men from looking at women, because it’s not even biblically what modesty is about. It belittles a topic that should be beautiful. I appreciate this article and the woman’s perspective- it seems her reason for wearing a bikini was just to fit in, and try to get validation from others and that was not a good reason to be wearing it. But it’s sad she decribes her body as “devalued” by wearing a bikini. You body does not lose value when someone views your stomach. Your body does not lose value when some man comments on it. My brother used to work at an oil refinery and heard the comments guys made about the women who worked there (including me, the summer I interned there). Were those women’s bodies (encased coveralls, mind you) devalued because of the way those men looked at them and spoke about them? No!
      Women wearing biknis are sexualized. So are women in work uniforms (particularly in fields regarded as male domain), and women in school uniforms, and heck, there are even a million novels out there romanticising the Amish. So it’s not the clothing itself that causes this.
      Believing your body can be devalued by your attire seems far more disrespectful to the temple of the Holy Spirit and God’s creation than immodesty. The value of our bodies cannot be “preserved” by putting on more clothes or lost by taking off clothes. To suggest that the temple of God is in danger of losing value is terrible.

      • I think this was a very good response to the article and regarding this issue. I’ve been thinking a lot and reading a lot about this issue and I think this was a good input. It’s important what the author of the article states, to question your motives for wearing something. But the Bible doesn’t say that it’s wrong to wear a bikini so we can’t say that it inherently is either. It could be wrong and it’s possible that it often is. But I think that’s a matter that has to do with which culture you’re living in and what motivations you have for wearing what you’re wearing. You should not wear certain clothes to get the wrong kind of attention from guys, but if that truly isn’t your motivation for wearing what you’re wearing it’s a lot less relevant what it actually is that you’re wearing. What a guy thinks of you doesn’t make you any less valuable no matter what you’re wearing and starting to think in those patterns can have dangerous results. You might start to blame yourself for what guys say about you or suggest that you do for them even if you had done nothing wrong at all. Guys are responsable for their own mistakes and even though we should do our best to help them and love them, taking on the blame for something they did wrong isn’t gonna help anyone.

    18. This is fine and dandy, and I agree, as long as you don’t shame and demean those who wear bikinis and shorts and low cut dresses.

      “Don’t let the culture tell you that value comes from taking off more clothes,” which is true. Don’t let it tell you that an increase in skin shown comes with a decrease in value, either.

      I can see that the main idea of this article is that your body is not the source of your value. Good. I am not saying you are “slut shaming,” I’m just building on what you said.

    19. I wear bikinis because they’re comfortable. I wear bikinis because they’re cute. I wear bikinis because I like getting an all-over tan. I don’t wear bikinis to get attention from guys or because I have a self-esteem issue. Can’t get myself to agree with this article.

    20. I couldn’t agree more with this article…IF the author’s reasons stated are the reader’s reasons for not wearing a bikini. However, that is NOT why I wear one…to fit in; nor does it diminish me spiritually or otherwise. I happen to love my bikinis and wear them all summer long! I don’t feel as if I’m trying to fit in or feel better about myself by wearing them. Each article of clothing I choose is for me, for my comfort and for how it makes me feel personally….in a positive way.

    21. I completely agree for the reason that a girl’s body is something precious, and it should NOT be flaunted in public for literally everyone to see. It’s not only disrespectful to yourself AND guys (especially for the dudes who are trying to keep their minds pure), but God does not approve of girls showing that much skin, just like it’s not okay to walk around with short shorts and a crop top.

      My point is that even though some girls feel confident in a bikini and seriously mean NO harm or disrespect for anyone, it’s still completely disregarding God’s plan for our bodies. <3

    22. This is so great for us all to be reminded of. Not only with swim suits, but with everything we wear. We shouldn’t dress to impress guys or other people, because they won’t ever be able to care for us as much as God can, so why subject ourselves to that if it’s not even worth it!

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