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Love

What Are the Qualities You Look for in a Guy? PI Girls Tell All!

Couple-Heart-Love-Real

It’s not easy finding a perfect matchsomebody who is right for you and for your values. As a PI Girl, we know that your values come first and foremost, and that they are as strong as they are many, which means your search can be especially challenging. Still, as with all things, patience yields the greatest results (cue the eye roll), so it’s important to remember that your laundry list of qualities is not unreasonable, but a sign of knowing what you want. And that, ladies, actually places you AHEAD of the curvenice, right?

Of course, we wanted to hear more about the qualities that you think define “boyfriend material”…or just make your heart beat a little faster (and that’s okay, too!). So, we posted this image on Instagram, and the response that we received was so incredible that we just had to share! Certainly, many of the classics were there, which doesn’t surprise us because, well, they’re around for a reason! That said, we also saw a lot of new, equally important qualities that had us thinking, “Oh, that’s a must!” and “What fabulous taste!” Kudos, ladies, for all the food for thought!

Altogether, having put faith first, it’s clear that PI Girls are on the lookout for all the right things—and to show you just how spot-on you are, we’ve gathered some of our favorite comments. Check them out and let us know what you think! These are listed in no particular order.

  1. A sensitive heart but a strong/protective will and brave soul. (zoe_zaf)
  2. Has to be funny! (anonymous)
  3. A guy who loves kids and wants a big family! (claire_vallaster)
  4. I want him to have an easy time expressing what he feels. I don’t want him to sugarcoat or skirt around anything. I hope he can easily say anything from “I’m frustrated” to “You’re beautiful.”              (blondielcl)
  5. Somebody who is a gentlemen and treats me like a princess…and has the ability to make me laugh hysterically. (kathryn_kat22)
  6. Patience and perseverance to keep on the Straight and Narrow path. (stephaniem_rom12)
  7. Gentle toward animals and children, and kind toward strangers. That says A LOT about a person. (windy_days_ahead)
  8. Someone with ambitions and the drive to make them a reality. Laziness is a huge turn-off for me. (jordankmixon)
  9. A true Southern gentleman. (shelb_sterz)
  10. A man who’s humble and funny. And a nice addin would be musically talented. Especially a good voice! (rosepetal1210)
  11. One who listens. (vilmaiscool)
  12. I’m going to be a missionary in China, so he has to be crazy enough to come with me! (josiebreeding)
  13. A person who likes me for me. (mariahgrubbs97)
  14. Here’s a random one: He has to be able to quote movies back and forth with me. (amuzilla)
  15. Someone who is trustworthy…who won’t give up on the relationship no matter how hard it gets. (brit_nicole896)

What would YOU add? Let us know in the comments below!

Image: Lightstock

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54 Comments

  1. KareBear

    Posted by KareBear on March 24, 2015 at 13:14

    One of my best guy friends at church and I both like each other, but we haven’t told each other. It’s been 8-10 months since I’ve started liking him and 6 months since he started acting like he likes me. Recently, he’s begun to actually flirt with me and I still really like him, beyond the feeling I used to get. I’ve been hesitant to actually flirt back with him, one because I stink at flirting and two because I’m worried he may not be the guy God has planned for me, even though a thousand different random things lined up for us to get to this point. He’s willing to listen to me and he’s open to an extent (he doesn’t open up fully to many people) and he’s everything that’s listed above. The thing that scares me is the last guy I fell for ended up changing into a jerk, and my friend’s boyfriend just recently broke up with her, and I’m scared something will go wrong and I’ll get my heart broken, even though he genuinely cares. What should I do?

  2. emhen

    Posted by emhen on December 27, 2014 at 16:51

    A good comforter, knows when to talk with me and when to just be silent and be with me. (:

  3. OliviaLC

    Posted by OliviaLC on October 30, 2014 at 11:43

    I would add that he has to have good character traits like honesty, integrity, kindness, love, responsibility, humble, trustworthy, etc. Of course he would not have all of these traits but I admire good character in people and I only like people that I admire for their character and their relationship with God. 🙂 Which brings me to the second thing that I would add, he would have to be a Godly man and not just a Christian boy. There are many guys that go to church and who are nice and sweet. The problem is that their relationship with the Lord doesn’t go any farther than church. They spend time with God at church and that is it. They don’t allow him to move in their day to day lives. If I get married I want my husband to be someone who has a close relationship with the Lord and has a desire to serve him. I want to be in ministry and my heart is to follow God in my daily life and I need a husband that will do that too, that is if God does want me to marry of course. So those are things that I look for and that I admire. 🙂

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by snsongbird97 on October 29, 2014 at 19:56

    Can tell me it straight because I’d rather deal with the truth hard it may be than a lie.

  5. aubreyfaith

    Posted by aubreyfaith on October 29, 2014 at 16:43

    I think I’ll talk about the guy I currently like and why I like him.

    1. He is totally unashamed of his love for Jesus.
    2. He gives really good hugs.
    3. He’s like our school’s “hot guy” but he’s actually a book nerd who plays chess.
    4. He’s not popular for sports- he’s popular because he goes out and makes an effort to talk to people and make friends.
    5. He’s the sweetest guy ever.
    6. He makes me laugh pretty much every time I talk to him.
    7. He puts me in a good mood no matter what..
    8. He makes me want to be a better Christian.
    9. His singing voice is amazing, and he plays the piano. (I sing and guys who are musical are just so attractive to me)
    10. He doesn’t take himself too seriously.
    11. He’s nice to everyone he sees.
    12. He’s also really attractive, and while that’s not super important, it just makes him even better, hahaha. 🙂

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by serawut on October 29, 2014 at 16:31

    I just want him to be like Rick from The Walking Dead. So freaking b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.
    But, seriously. Rick will do anything for the people that he loves, and I want my husband to be like that, Rick is a great leader and he’s always trying to do the right thing.

  7. the.little.redhead

    Posted by the.little.redhead on October 29, 2014 at 15:29

    1-loves God (obviously)
    2-classy/conducts himself professionally
    3-smart/intelligent and has common-sense
    4-has integrity
    5-has ambitions
    6-works hard
    7-excellent work ethic
    8-treats me as an intellectual equal and equal before God
    9-heart for orphans
    10-sings and/or plays instrument
    11-says what he means and means what he says
    12-treats his mom respectfully and small children gently
    13-can hold his own in a debate/discussion
    14-tries to be healthy/take care of himself well
    15-clean in terms of personal hygiene
    16-Logical
    17-Not passive-aggressive… deals with conflict directly
    18-Good leader
    19-Adventurous
    20-Appreciates me for more than just appearance
    21-Able to do public speaking
    22-Someone who will not feel threatened by my abilities, strengths, and ambitions
    23-Secure in who he is
    24-Accepts my weaknesses and helps me grow
    25-Someone who does not consider divorce an option
    26-Someone who I can respect as a person and trust their judgement

    • OliviaLC

      Posted by OliviaLC on October 30, 2014 at 11:48

      I love that you added “Does not consider divorce an option”. I don’t look down upon those who do divorce, it is their choice, but I personally believe that when you get married you are married for life. It’s a commitment that is not to be broken.

  8. CinnamonCow16

    Posted by CinnamonCow16 on October 29, 2014 at 15:00

    Rarely negative. Most of the time positive. And also someone who will do things for others and me out of a good heart and not just say “Oh she’ll be fine.”

  9. streabig

    Posted by streabig on October 29, 2014 at 14:57

    A month ago, I wrote a diary entry about this (Go Penzu.com) and this is what I wrote:
    (FYI, my diary is directed towards God, so it is like I am talking to him–hence the Yous and stuff):
    What I Want In a Boy
    Strong, in soul rather than body (though physical strength is nice), for he should be able to handle the complete train wreck that I am.
    Understanding, for it would be lovely to come home after a long and harsh day to talk with him and You together
    Obviously a Christian, because why should I spend my life, loving you, but also loving a man that doesn’t know your love. You are, and will always be, the most important thing in my life. It’s complicated sometimes because I forget to pray and love, but I know that with prayer, you will help me overcome that and lead me to stronger faith. Right now, I’m literally imaging my true love, our 3 children, and I sitting in a church pew, but for some reason, it’s my current church…
    Loving, and not just of me. I mean, surely you understand that I want my future husband to love me, because the whole “True Love” thing, but I want him to love, or at least try (no one is perfect), everyone, especially you. I don’t know if I could fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you, or know you for that matter.
    Charitable, because volunteering together would be fun and a little romantic too. Plus, we would be spreading your love and word together. (I.E. Perfect first date– reference to Sydney White movie.)
    Funny because I want to be able to laugh until it hurts forever. (“Jesus Laughing”, the painting, just came to mind, haha!)
    Mature, for while I want him to have a sense of humor, I have been tormented by idiotic boys trying to be too funny for a long time. He needs to know when to stop. I won’t put up with being ridiculed.
    He needs to love children. I want them so badly, God. I love children so much, and being able to raise mine.

  10. Joygirl14

    Posted by Joygirl14 on October 29, 2014 at 12:14

    I love #10. That’s exactly what I would like in a relationship. All of these are wonderful qualities to look for in a guy and I don’t think anyone should lower their standards just because a guy doesn’t fit them all. Raise the bar and if the guy rises to them, well, that’s something pretty special. God has a man who fits all the requirements made exactly for each and every one of us. I can’t wait to see who God has picked out for me (: Keep waiting patiently fellow PI girls, it’s gonna happen eventually (: I’ve waited this long, what’s just a little bit more, right?

  11. Riahbelle15

    Posted by Riahbelle15 on September 16, 2014 at 22:30

    1. Of course a strong relationship with Christ
    2. Acts like a gentleman-semi old fashioned (goes to my dad ect.)
    3. Protective. There is no better feeling than knowing you are safe with the one you love and the knowledge that they would never let anything hurt
    4. Thoughtful
    5. Honorable
    6. A family guy-loves little kids
    7. Missions Minded
    8. Romantic
    9. I real hard core man-he loves guy things and is every inch a male:)

  12. Project Inspired

    Posted by Lexi1120 on August 29, 2014 at 12:00

    1.) Loves Jesus and has a strong relationship in Christ
    2.) Is funny
    3.) Is respectful
    4.) Doesn’t flirt
    5.) Loves me for me
    6.) Has goals
    7.) Is ambitious
    8.) Has a sense of humor because I’m goofy and loves to laugh

  13. chloe523

    Posted by chloe523 on August 23, 2014 at 09:51

    In no particular order (except the first one :p)
    – He must put God first
    – Loves and accepts me no matter what imperfections I have
    – Respects me and others
    – Is more outgoing than I am
    – Is willing to be close to my family
    – Is trustworthy, faithful, and willing to keep working through our relationship
    – Communicates his thoughts and feelings, and isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m doing something wrong
    – Is comforting to me when I need it
    – Wants a family
    – Isn’t afraid to pursue his passions and goals in life, and supports my passions and goals

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by andriloveschrist on August 13, 2014 at 21:52

    A guy that wants, and has a relationship with God, and that will love to come to church with me, as well as inviting the children we have to come with us and share in the house of .He should always want more of the grace of the Lord, and that will make me love and appreciate him even more:)

  15. Smylinggirl

    Posted by Smylinggirl on August 11, 2014 at 18:57

    Something I just realized the importance of is communication. My parents communicate well but a lot of my family doesn’t. I know people who will be getting ready to leave on a trip and have no clue when they’re leaving or how long they are staying. I am a planner, so he has to be able to talk to me. As my grandmother says – jokingly – “communication is such an important thing.”

  16. Jesus_brooke

    Posted by Jesus_brooke on August 11, 2014 at 09:36

    1. Loves God
    2. Loves me for me
    3. Gentleman
    4. Introvert
    5. Geeky
    6. Preppy
    7. Cute
    8. Funny
    9. Emotional
    10. Tells me everything.

  17. Sup_cynthiaxo

    Posted by Sup_cynthiaxo on August 5, 2014 at 23:35

    1) puts God first.
    2) motivates me to pray and read the bibe.
    3) isnt afraid to give me advice, if im doing somthing wrong.
    4) is truthful.
    5) has to have a sense of humur, but knows how to be serious when the time come.
    6) must have a called ministry from God.
    7) is positive and knows how to look on the brighter side.
    8) isnt afraid to tell me when he is upset.
    9) expresses his feelings.
    10) knows how to communicate through ups and downs.

    Btw, my guy kinda does all this. Dude i love him.

  18. Speak4Elohim

    Posted by Speak4Elohim on August 5, 2014 at 15:55

    I have a list of 50 items currently. And no, I’m not too picky. If you set your standards high, you won’t end up with a loser.

  19. psalm123

    Posted by psalm123 on July 29, 2014 at 04:50

    I like number 12; he definitely has to be ready for adventure! ^~^

  20. Madam Deborah

    Posted by Madam Deborah on July 28, 2014 at 13:04

    I would want someone caring, a man who would care about God and me.
    A second attiribute would be understanding, basically a man who understands who I am in God and in my life.

  21. May All Your Bacon Burn

    Posted by May All Your Bacon Burn on July 27, 2014 at 23:04

    Someone who accepts me as I am would be enough. If they’re willing to accept me as I am, then they won’t expect me to change who I am just to suit their fancy.

    Mind you, I know that in a relationship you need to be willing to bend on certain things. I know it’s needed in situations, and that when the time comes I’ll do it; however, I’ve known several people that decided I wasn’t good enough, and that the only way I would suit them is if I changed my interests, my morals…a lot of things (and needless to say, these “friends” usually got kicked out the door). I might be quiet, but I’m as stubborn as a bull when it comes to what I believe in. I’ve seen too many people give up their futures, dreams and even morals for the sake of the rest of the world. Who decided that they must not be good enough if someone else is telling them their way is wrong. God has instilled me with the dreams and goals I have–on top of the will needed to back it up–and by golly I won’t let any man other than God change that.

  22. Project Inspired

    Posted by Pastor Linda on July 27, 2014 at 22:10

    He has to be funny. God blessed my with a wonderful sense of humor. I can always make people laugh and I want a guy who will make ME laugh.

  23. smileysofie

    Posted by smileysofie on July 27, 2014 at 22:07

    I love number one. And he has to be a baseball player. ☺️⚾️

  24. Project Inspired

    Posted by JessTaylor on July 27, 2014 at 21:16

    I want someone who leads me closer to Christ, not further. He has to be able to be there for me and listen to me because, let’s face it ladies, we need to vent a lot more than the average guy realizes. If he can get my dad’s approval, he has mine.

  25. Project Inspired

    Posted by Erin597 on July 27, 2014 at 20:19

    Someone who:
    Truly loves God.
    Will allow me to be me.
    I can trust with m deepest secrets and feelings.
    Will comfort me and forgive me with any of my wrongdoings.
    Will brighten my day and make me laugh.
    Won’t be ashamed of me.
    Won’t keep secrets from me (unless it’s a present or a surprise party!).
    Is kind to all others.
    Truly loves me.

  26. patientlywaitingforGodsplan

    Posted by patientlywaitingforGodsplan on July 27, 2014 at 18:39

    a man who seeks God in everything who does. a man who loves God more than me and loves me for me not some picture he has of me. he has to be willing to take my faults along with my good qualities however he also has to be willing to gently set me straight and point me back to God, he must also be strong, persevering, patient, honest, kind, and sweet. a side note is I hope he is a musician like me so we can sing duets and all that.

  27. ZaraMarie

    Posted by ZaraMarie on July 25, 2014 at 14:07

    It is so important for me to have a husband who can challenge me spiritually. One whom I can grow with in my faith, and who is willing and able to be the spiritual leader of our home.

    Very recently, I ended a relationship with a boy that I dated for a year and a half of my life. He was a fantastic boyfriend, but I committed my life to Christ half-way through our relationship, and it became increasingly difficult to balance the difference in our life styles. Like I said, he is a great guy, and has outstanding morals. However, I realized that spiritually, we were in two very different places. My relationship was beginning to stunt my spiritual growth, and no matter how much I loved being with him, I cannot put anything between myself and my Savior.
    Having said that, I feel relief and peace in knowing that God has someone for me, someone who will encourage me in my faith. I hope all the lovely girls in Project Inspired will hold out for the life and love that God has in store for them 🙂

  28. Project Inspired

    Posted by brittj2015 on July 24, 2014 at 06:40

    I would have slow to anger as a top priority.. Also I recommend every teen read growing up duggar for more on this topic

  29. Project Inspired

    Posted by Tumblinggurl15 on July 23, 2014 at 15:34

    PURE!!! In other words he has to be a virgin. Sex after marriage. 🙂

  30. Indy

    Posted by Indy on July 16, 2014 at 21:29

    Someone who knows love is a choice

  31. mojorising211

    Posted by mojorising211 on July 14, 2014 at 23:37

    A few months ago I came across a list made by another girl, but it fit perfectly and I’ve adopted it at my own. I want a husband that is:

    1. Spirit controlled Christian (Ephesians 5:18)
    2. Jesus comes first in his life, Jesus is not just an ornament (Mark 12:30)
    3. Broken; understands how to rely fully upon Jesus (Philippians 4:13)
    4. Ministry minded; wherever he is, he’s faithful (1 Corinthians 4:2)
    5. Motivator; man of vision; concerned about lost souls (Romans 10:14)
    6. Sensitive spirit; in tune to the needs of others (Galatians 6:2)
    7. Understands the awesome responsibility of a husband to his wife (Ephesians 5:25-31)
    8. humble enough to be a disciple (teachable) and able to disciple others (Matthew 28:19-20)
    9. Man of prayer; he knows the key to success is his private time with God (Colossians 4:2)
    10. Family man; he desires to have children and raise them properly for God’s glory (Proverbs 22:6)

    Overall, I want a man who knows God comes first in his life and our marriage, and that our relationship also encourages us personally to grow closer to God.

  32. Project Inspired

    Posted by Precioustime22 on July 14, 2014 at 20:22

    -He has to be loyal too.
    -And understanding 🙂

  33. bethluvstheafters

    Posted by bethluvstheafters on July 14, 2014 at 18:03

    Alrighty here’s my list then..
    1. Loves God more than anything
    2. Loves kids
    3. Has high goals in life and keeps to them
    4. Respectful, loyal, truthful, all that jazz.
    5. Has an amazing heart for other people
    6. Needs to be attractive (to me at least 😉 )
    7. A great leader
    BONUS: Can swing dance (or is willing to learn 😀 )
    BONUS 2: Knows how to play some sort of instrument.

  34. LeeRae99

    Posted by LeeRae99 on July 14, 2014 at 16:19

    Number 9

  35. Fluffycatc

    Posted by Fluffycatc on July 14, 2014 at 15:11

    A guy who pursues me, not the other way around. He has to start conversations with me and actually wants to hang out with me.

  36. StayAnchored

    Posted by StayAnchored on July 13, 2014 at 21:07

    I’m just going to make a list!

    1. He has to pursue God daily more than he is pursuing me.
    2. Patience! I have a tendency to get on people’s nerves so he has to be patient enough to put up with my child-like behavior! 😛
    3. Humor! If he can’t make me laugh so hard that I cry it won’t work out… XD
    4. Great with kiddos because I want quite a few in the future!
    5. Wisdom- In circumstances and of the Bible!

    • StayAnchored

      Posted by StayAnchored on July 13, 2014 at 21:10

      6. Courteous and Respectful to everyone around him.
      7. Considerate- Even the little things can make someone’s day!
      (I thought of some more!!)

  37. ktuck22

    Posted by ktuck22 on July 13, 2014 at 20:58

    We all know that he has to be attractive. Don’t act like he doesn’t 😉 but that’s obviously not the priority. Priorities for me are faith and faithfulness. Others are mutual trust, mutual understanding, and mutual love for physical contact. Weird, I know, but I love physical contact because it’s just another way of showing the person just how much they mean to you. Hand holding, hugs, kisses, cuddles, all that jazz. And yes, he’s got to be attractive (but beauty is in the eye of the beholder) 🙂

  38. Project Inspired

    Posted by JesusFreakAshley8597 on July 13, 2014 at 17:44

    1. He needs to love Jesus way more than he loves me.

    2. He needs to have a sense of humor. One, I love a good sense of humor. Two, I am insane and insanely clumsy, so if he wants to keep sane around me, he better be able to laugh.

    3. He needs to love kids. I want to have kids biologically, and I want to adopt. I really want a big family.

    4. He needs to be able to put up with my insane obsessiveness. I have a tendency to fall way to love with a fictional thing. I am trying to get over how obsessiveness, but I am not there yet.

    5. Speaking of that, he has to be willing to call me out when I let my obsessiveness get in the way of important things, particularly my relationship with God.

  39. grc822

    Posted by grc822 on July 13, 2014 at 12:27

    For him to love God more than me. I think this trait will not only strengthen and build our relationship, but I think he will help me build mine with God more and more. 🙂 But also all those other traits- Respectful, loving kids, loving family, and more… Gah, I’m excited for what God has for me later in life,,, and when I meet him… 🙂

  40. Smylinggirl

    Posted by Smylinggirl on July 13, 2014 at 11:28

    Respect for family, wants to adopt, believes the Bible is the Inspired Word of God. I actually have a long list of “musts” and a list of “would be nice”.

  41. IDgirl

    Posted by IDgirl on July 13, 2014 at 06:33

    I want someone who is not afraid to show his feelings, and can understand my humor/sarcasm :).

  42. Katiebug1999

    Posted by Katiebug1999 on July 13, 2014 at 04:32

    I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day, so someone who is patient, and respects my decision to wait!

  43. Bergc037469

    Posted by Bergc037469 on July 12, 2014 at 20:30

    A guy who is honest and can make me laugh . Who I can trust no matter what the curcumstances are

  44. byfaith

    Posted by byfaith on July 12, 2014 at 19:12

    This might sound strange, but I want someone who understands the value of hugging. I love being hugged and giving hugs. ^_^

    • IdaPahus

      Posted by IdaPahus on July 28, 2014 at 00:19

      Me too!! I LOVE hugs! 🙂

    • Joygirl14

      Posted by Joygirl14 on July 27, 2014 at 18:38

      Don’t worry! I love hugs and love when other people like hugs too! Definitely need to be able to give a good hug. Whenever I am having a bad day and someone gives me a hug, it instantly takes the bad away and replaces it with a warm and loved feeling. I think it is the ultimate way you could show someone you are there for them without talking.

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on July 13, 2014 at 06:00

      @byfaith, AMEN! Not weird at all haha. Hugging is great. ^_^

      • Beautiful_You

        Posted by Beautiful_You on July 18, 2014 at 13:49

        UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY!!!! I thought I was the only one who thought that way!

  45. beoriginal

    Posted by beoriginal on July 12, 2014 at 14:00

    A man after Gods heart, sporty, and will love me for me not for what I was or will be.

  46. Mandi Pi

    Posted by Mandi Pi on July 12, 2014 at 09:40

    Selflessness, respect for ALL women (and men), respect for boundaries, knows how to goof off but can be extremely serious when he needs to. My top 3 standards are love God, love cats, love my family (my family is kinda crazy lol, but I would never ever marry someone who didn’t like them). Other things like sense of humor, interests, clothing choices, etc. can be looser and I’ll probably be good with it. My current crush is quite a delightful mix of all my standards lol. ;D (Loves God, loves cats, can be goofy and serious, can sing, shares interests, really cute…which of course does NOT matter, but it’s still a nice bonus lol 😉 ).

    • crazy4christ

      Posted by crazy4christ on March 26, 2015 at 22:24

      I would love a guy that would pray with me and really tell the truth and put God first . He must not fake who he is because He would be awesome. He must really connect with me and love me for me even if I sometimes act weird or have my bad days. He must love me and love God more. He must really make me laugh but must know when to stop. He must really listen to me and have confidence in himself. We must be able to talk about anything and really know where we stand. I would love a guy who can be silly. He must also be open and talk to me about things that bother Him.