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  • Relationships
  • News From Nicole

    What Does Fear Have to Do With Honesty?

    At times, it’s difficult to be completely honest with other people. However, honesty is very important in any relationship. Whether it’s your parents, best friend, boyfriend, bible study teacher, etc., it’s hard to reestablish trust if it’s ever been broken.

    What I’ve come to realize is that dishonesty is born out of fear. Think about it. Whenever you’ve thought about being dishonest with others it’s because you were afraid to be honest with them. For example, have you ever been afraid to tell your parents the real reason that you broke curfew and decided to make up a story that you thought would be better received by your parents? Have you ever avoided telling a friend the truth about something because you didn’t want her to be mad at you? Or have you ever made up an excuse when you missed the deadline for something that was really important? I bet it was because you were afraid to tell the truth about why you really missed the deadline.

    What is the common denominator in all of these examples? Yes, that’s right, fear!

    We all know that everyone has been dishonest at some point in their lives. However, it’s really important to understand that being dishonest can have a pretty hefty consequence. People may stop trusting you when they find out that you’ve deceived them. So, the next time you’re tempted to be dishonest, remember that you’re putting your character on the line.

    Also remember this:

    There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18.)

    If you care about someone, then you’ll be honest with him/her. And if s(he) cares about you, then s(he) will be slow to anger and will forgive you regardless.

    [photo: visualpictures.com]

    Have you ever struggled with being honest about something?

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    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. People after they are dishonest with friends or family, i’ve learned, will be guilty afterwards…. its just one of those things where if you lie, you’ll feel guilty and then you’ll want to tell the truth but then fear comes back again…….

      • Sawako,
        You may have done something bad, but your situation is not hopeless. No one is ever hopeless with God on their side. We used to be hopeless when Jesus hadn’t come and died yet, but now because he did do that you can have hope, if you accept him. God has ways of bringing people out of really bad situations. He can certainly do it with you. 🙂

    2. I’m sorry to hear that Sawako. I agree with Simi, God will help you through this situation. I know it can be hurtful when our parents are disappointed by something that we do (or are dishonest about) but put all of your pain and anxiety on God and He’ll work it out for you. He has a way of shifting the universe to help you because He loves you JUST THAT MUCH. And Michaela, everyone struggles with dishonesty at some point. Ask God to help you in this area. That’s what I do when I’m struggling in a specific area. Mnm, you’re right, fear always tries to rear it’s head, but with God we can resist the temptation to be fearful! God bless each of you!

    3. i have actually been fighting a mini battle about honesty with my parents… and its about my boyfriend.. they are Muslims and i am still fairly new to Christ.. but i know He is the way and God has shown me through Christ is the right way… but anyways… i have lied about my boyfriend several times and it is out of fear…
      There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18.)
      the last sentence is something im worried about… one who fears is not made perfect in love… i dont tell my parents the truth because they will end up restricting me and keeping me on a tighter leash then i already am.. ssssooo i have a question… is it still wrong to lie to them about something that i know they will not accept? and there is no chance of them accepting it?

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