What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Doesn’t Agree With My Choices Or Beliefs?
Written by Aysha Ives | December 10, 2011
If you care about someone, you often want his/her approval. However, you won’t always agree with everyone in your life, including the person that you’re dating. When disagreements emerge, it can become a very stressful time. So what do you do when your beliefs conflict with your boyfriend’s beliefs?
Well, no one’s beliefs should come before the Word of God.
God is the ultimate authority on ALL things and He readily shares His expectations through the Holy Bible. Make sure that, whatever your decisions are, you have read what God has to say about them. If you aren’t sure where to find information in the Bible about a specific situation, please seek guidance from your parents, your pastor, a Bible study teacher, or any other adult who is knowledgeable about God.
Also, be sure to pray about the situation because God WILL reveal Himself to you if you ask Him. The Bible says this:
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you (James 1:5).
Be sure to keep in mind that God establishes order to prevent chaos. The Bible tells women to obey God first. He then instructs wives to submit to their husbands.
No, this does NOT mean that women are to be doormats to their husbands. Rather, it means that wives should honor and respect their HUSBANDS.
The point is, there’s nothing in the Bible about submitting to boyfriends. Until you’re married, your focus should be on submitting to God, and of course your parents while you’re in their home.
God establishes order for a reason and it’s important that His children stay within this parameter.
With that said, I also know that your relationship with your boyfriend is important, and that’s completely understandable. So here are five tips to approaching touchy topics:
- Pray. Pray about your relationship and ask God to reveal to you what direction you should take. If your boyfriend is truly who God has in store for your future, God will reveal Himself to both of you. You might even want to try praying together.
- Talk it out. Sit your boyfriend down and share with him how you’re feeling. Be honest and straightforward, but remember to be loving in your approach.
- Set boundaries. Be empathetic and loving, but also be firm about your expectations in the relationship. YOU decide what factors are absolute essentials and what issues are negotiable for YOU. Share your essential and negotiable items with your boyfriend and don’t waver from your beliefs.
- Listen. Share your thoughts with your boyfriend but also take the time to listen to his viewpoint. Don’t stray from your essentials but consider his points regarding negotiable items. Remember, a relationship involves TWO people.
- Re-evaluate the relationship. If your boyfriend loves God and loves you, then he’ll want to see you happy. However, if the two of you are unable or unwilling to come to a happy (and Godly) medium, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider if this is the right relationship for you.
Do you have any more tips?