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What to Do If a Boy Is Disrespecting You

Let me begin by saying that if a boy is disrespecting you, it’s absolutely NOT okay. Whether it’s a friend, peer, or even your boyfriend, it’s never okay for a boy to be disrespectful to you. You’re God’s daughter and you deserve to be treated with the utmost respect! If you’re being disrespected, take a look at these tips to help you address the situation:

  • Be direct. If a boy is being inappropriate, it’s okay to tell him to STOP. Explain to him that his behavior is inappropriate and you won’t tolerate it. Let him know that if he continues to engage in such mean-spirited behavior, you’ll get adults involved so the situation can be resolved. Keep in mind, however, that being direct doesn’t give you an invitation to be mean in return; it simply allows you the opportunity to set boundaries with others about how you expect to be treated.
  • Remain calm. God is very clear that everything we do should be done in love. Although it can be quite difficult to approach mean people in a nice way, it’s a task we all have to tackle at some point or another. Always remain calm and loving during your interactions with others. When you present yourself in a loving manner, even when others are disrespectful toward you, you’re setting the example for God.
  • Know your worth! Don’t internalize the mean comments of others! Know that you’re a BEAUTIFUL CHILD OF GOD and nothing anyone says can take that from you. If you want to make changes about yourself, make sure it’s because you want to be more pleasing unto God, NOT because someone is making ridiculous comments about you.
  • Get help. If you’re unable to resolve the situation with this boy by yourself, then it may be time to get an adult involved. Don’t be scared to talk to a trusted adult about what’s going on. Remember, God puts people–parents, teachers and church leaders–in your life to help you. It’s always okay to seek guidance when others are mistreating you.
  • Pray. Always pray about situations that you’re going through. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the best way to deal with people who are mistreating you. He is your Counselor and He’ll reveal to you the best way to approach the situation. Also, remember to pray for the boy who is being disrespectful to you. It may be difficult to intercede for a person who has intentionally hurt you, but who knows what is going on in his life? Remember, hurt people hurt other people–and you may be the only light in this boy’s life.
  • Abusive behavior should never, EVER be tolerated! If someone is “disrespecting” you in a physical manner, that’s called abuse! There are also other forms of abuse that are defined in this article. If you’re experiencing abuse in any way, it’s important you get help immediately! Please, read this article for more information about abuse and what to do if you’re experiencing it.

Dealing with people who disrespect you can be a very trying task. Although we may be tempted to become mean and disrespectful in return, it’s important to show the love of Christ in all of our interactions with others. Although it’s okay to set appropriate boundaries, AND IT’S SOMETHING YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD DO, don’t forget to see others through the eyes of Christ when trying to resolve the issue.

Remember, love God, love others and love yourself.

Image: Thinkstock


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  1. nikidog107

    Posted by nikidog107 on April 13, 2013 at 20:26

    THANK YOU! i just moved from scottsdale, Arizona to little elm, texas…. and in scottsdale all the guys are gentlemen, funny (appropriately), kind and so on… i was expecting the same from the boys in little elm… NOPE! i have never had to deal with this before and i think it was Gods fate that i found this article! thanks 🙂

  2. parisgirl

    Posted by parisgirl on April 13, 2013 at 18:31

    Thank you!! I needed to hear this

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by Country Christian Girl on July 24, 2012 at 11:02

    I really needed this- thank you! 🙂

  4. faulty-but-real

    Posted by faulty-but-real on May 15, 2012 at 07:09

    i had the same problems. and it’s bad. i remember when this HUGE snow storm hit Maryland,and i would be playing in the snow,a boy only a year older than me would pick up big snow chunks and hit me on the head with them,the snow stung my eyes,hurt my head,and i would pretend that it didn’t bother me,when all i wanted to do was cry,which is probably what he wanted. lucky for me,my mother was shoveling snow,and sent me inside when she saw how agresive he was getting. he would also sexualy harass me,and when i told him to stop,he wouldn’t,so i would run away from him and he would follow,so i would go into the safety of my house. i am glad to say that i haven’t had this problem for two years. i’m safer now,and never once do i regret listening to my mother when she told me to go inside that January day,she may not know it,but she taught me self worth.

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by Kasey on May 8, 2012 at 12:08

    Never be in a room alone with a guy, It provides unnesssary temptation, not to mention can ruin your reputation.

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by Allison on May 7, 2012 at 12:06

    This is a great article…An ex guyfriend is KIND OF harrassing me and being a booty and its taking EVERYTHING in my BODY to not cuss him out and tell him what I think of him. lol At THIS point, I could spend my life up till 30 without knowing 1 guy.

  7. dianochka

    Posted by dianochka on May 6, 2012 at 12:21

    How old can you be to have a boy friend?? i mean what does the bible say?

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by Maddie on May 5, 2012 at 18:52

    I agree, we deserve respect. No girl or one of God’s children for that matter should feel belittled, worthless, or afraid. I honestly believe why people believe that girls are easy to disrespect is because the media portrays girls and women as sexual objects and the “weaker gender”. I think that girls should be treated with the same respect a guy would give his best friend. He wouldn’t do or say inappropriate things to his guy friend, so why should he do that to a girl?

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by Naniae on May 5, 2012 at 10:28

    This is incredible to hear right now! It is just what I needed because just last night a guy I know what really disrespecting me physically and I was fighting with myself on what to do about it…thanks you so much for the advice! 🙂

  10. aundriarenee

    Posted by aundriarenee on May 4, 2012 at 20:17

    Thank you for this. I needed this.. Really did..

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by StarsnRockets66 on May 4, 2012 at 19:40

    It’s so amazing because not even 10 minutes ago, this guy was being so disrespectful to me and I didn’t know what to do. Now I know, if he talks to me again (at all, not even in a rude way), I’ll handle it accordingly. Thanks!!!! 🙂

  12. Paris

    Posted by Paris on May 4, 2012 at 14:03

    ALL women in abusive relationships should read this. Good job Ms. Ives!

  13. Just_ann24

    Posted by Just_ann24 on May 4, 2012 at 13:42

    This is great! I was having that problem too. Some guy was really gettin’ to me and it really hurt. So I got some advice feom a friend and he said I should just ignore them. The person started to notice I didn’t care about what their saying and left mealne (but is still picking at me occasionally) but it’s getting better and better. 🙂

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by rungreyhound94 on May 4, 2012 at 09:09

    But what could I say exactly?