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Christian Life

What to Do If Your Church Lets You Down

It happened—a seismic shift in your church…and you’ve been let down. The emotions that are running through you are all mixed up. This is your church home. It’s a place where you feel free to share your feelings. It’s a place where you’ve given your time, money and energy. It’s a place you felt God call you to.

So what can you do if something has happened in your church that has let you down? Try these tips.

 

1. Examine your heart. Are you feeling bitter? Vengeful? Angry? That’s not okay. In fact, when we jump to anger or bitterness, we’re no longer in the right frame of mind to handle something such as this. It’s also not biblical.

 

For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20)

 

2. Talk to someone. When we feel let down, we’re often afraid to talk it out. Did your pastor let you down? Talk to an elder or your parents. Talk to someone—it helps ease the feelings and helps put you on the right track. Know that you are not alone and others may be filling this way too or will empathize with you.

 

So that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. (1 Corinthians 12:25-26)

 

3. Keep the faithThis one is very difficult. When we feel let down by something such as the church, our first response is to distance ourselves from God. We begin to question God. We can’t do this. God has given us choices in our lives, and thank God for that! It’s the human element that caused this disappointment, not God.

4. Take a leave. Sometimes we just have to walk away from a situation. In my life, I had a particular situation arise where the pastor was doing ungodly things. He was let go as pastor. However, the damage was done. I felt lost, so I left the church and spent Sundays for a few months examining my heart through the scope of quiet time and prayer. I eventually came back to the church with a new lease on life and a heart filled with God’s delight, ready to engage again.

Dealing with a situation like this is hard. All too many times we place our pastors and the church on a much higher pedestal than they should be. We serve God first, and often times we turn our church into God—that is technically idolatry. Our world will fail, but God will never fail. Stay strong, keep the faith.

Image: Lightstock

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17 Comments

  1. sunbluie

    Posted by sunbluie on June 13, 2017 at 18:42

    Thank u! Our church has experienced a pastor who had a terrible scandal. This article was reassuring.

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by GodsGirl04 on June 12, 2017 at 08:05

    Wow! Thanks so much for this. Such a powerful message that we can lift our gaze off God to focus on our surroundings too much when only God is perfect and we can do be so expectant of others.

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by Surrealist on February 17, 2015 at 22:43

    Thank you for posting this. It definitely brought some peace to me. My church has been great but some Christian role models in my life let me down really, really hard at one point and I was so, so lost. It’s so important to keep faith and understand that nothing in this world is perfect – not people, not churches, not anything. Only God – He’s the one we should always look to and I truly believe sometimes we are let down so that the only place we have to go to is God. He truly knows us, what we need, and how to give it to us. All the love and praise to Him.

  4. RenC.S.97

    Posted by RenC.S.97 on February 17, 2015 at 21:34

    Wow, I really needed this post. The church I have been going to for the last couple of years really hurt me this past month. It helps in away to know I am no the only one who has gone through this. I ended up having to walk away. but my prayer is still reconciliation if possible.

  5. AudgPaudg

    Posted by AudgPaudg on January 4, 2015 at 14:47

    My Sunday School and Youth Group aren’t doing too well with being Godly, Biblical, and simply “on track”. It’s really hard because I need a place to grow and be with like-minded teens, but the teens in the groups are actually destroying the church as the next generation. I’m glad I read this. Thank you so much!

  6. Remedy

    Posted by Remedy on November 2, 2014 at 14:19

    You don’t want to stay in a church that doesn’t practice God’s definition of the church……

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by bluesky365 on October 31, 2014 at 17:16

    number three is so true! and it happens often! plus some people don’t have time to talk to God because they are so busy helping around in church all day and they think that if they don’t spend time with God at least it’s okay because they are going to do God’s business in church anyway so it’s like no biggie, ya know?

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by Hannah_Ro95 on October 28, 2014 at 16:20

    I thought anger was only bad if we sin while being angry?

    And I would also add that it could be that you just “want more.” If you know what I mean. :p

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by madisoncgibson on October 28, 2014 at 09:45

    I’ve really needed this! I felt let down for awhile now, but it’s getting better. Slowly but surely!

  10. ElenaRae__

    Posted by ElenaRae__ on October 26, 2014 at 13:07

    I have been going to the same church for 5 years now. I go to youth group but the problem is that everyone ignores me, to the point where they don’t even look at me at school and church. The sad part is that they’ll say hi to my parents (that are standing a few inches in front of me) but act like I wasn’t even there. The worst part is that the “oldest” kids of the group are only 1 year older than me. I am one of the oldest but yet I still get treated like the youngest. I have tried many times to engage but yet I still get ignored. This has been happening for 5 years now.

    Whenever I had a problem I could never go to my youth group or youth pastor because I knew that they wouldn’t care.

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by harleymoshers on October 25, 2014 at 14:50

    So I’ve been hurt by my church because I do so much and all I ask in return is to be treated as a member of the church like everyone else. Little things have happened before where my husband and I were left out of stuff but after directly being told it wouldn’t happen again it happened. They held a vote for everyone to vote on and no one told me and my husband. They voted without us. I would like to take a break from the church to calm down but my parents would kill me and everyone would judge me 🙁 idk what to do. Any advice?

  12. Shannon18

    Posted by Shannon18 on October 25, 2014 at 13:49

    Wow I needed this thank you!

  13. Christispeace104

    Posted by Christispeace104 on October 25, 2014 at 10:53

    Oh my gosh I so needed this! A group of people at our church have been SO mean to our pastor’s family and mine (associate pastor) our pastor finally couldn’t take it anymore and resigned. Us along with about 50 other people left but our old youth pastor and his wife are giving us a hard time and are spreading rumors about one of my friends. It’s really hard not to feel vengeful or angry especially when I see them around town? How do I respond if they try to contact me? Part of me wants to be nice but at the same time I feel like I want to yell at them what do I do?

  14. Sjbornman

    Posted by Sjbornman on October 23, 2014 at 16:37

    I REALLY needed this! thank you