What to Do If Your Church Lets You Down

    It happened—a seismic shift in your church…and you’ve been let down. The emotions that are running through you are all mixed up. This is your church home. It’s a place where you feel free to share your feelings. It’s a place where you’ve given your time, money and energy. It’s a place you felt God call you to.

    So what can you do if something has happened in your church that has let you down? Try these tips.


    1. Examine your heart. Are you feeling bitter? Vengeful? Angry? That’s not okay. In fact, when we jump to anger or bitterness, we’re no longer in the right frame of mind to handle something such as this. It’s also not biblical.


    For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20)


    2. Talk to someone. When we feel let down, we’re often afraid to talk it out. Did your pastor let you down? Talk to an elder or your parents. Talk to someone—it helps ease the feelings and helps put you on the right track. Know that you are not alone and others may be filling this way too or will empathize with you.


    So that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. (1 Corinthians 12:25-26)


    3. Keep the faithThis one is very difficult. When we feel let down by something such as the church, our first response is to distance ourselves from God. We begin to question God. We can’t do this. God has given us choices in our lives, and thank God for that! It’s the human element that caused this disappointment, not God.

    4. Take a leave. Sometimes we just have to walk away from a situation. In my life, I had a particular situation arise where the pastor was doing ungodly things. He was let go as pastor. However, the damage was done. I felt lost, so I left the church and spent Sundays for a few months examining my heart through the scope of quiet time and prayer. I eventually came back to the church with a new lease on life and a heart filled with God’s delight, ready to engage again.

    Dealing with a situation like this is hard. All too many times we place our pastors and the church on a much higher pedestal than they should be. We serve God first, and often times we turn our church into God—that is technically idolatry. Our world will fail, but God will never fail. Stay strong, keep the faith.

    Dave Herrmann
    My name is Dave, you may see me writing funny articles on PI or managing the social media accounts. My life is putting Christ first and everything else second. Life is beautiful when we smile and choose a positive attitude. God is good!


    1. Oh my gosh I so needed this! A group of people at our church have been SO mean to our pastor’s family and mine (associate pastor) our pastor finally couldn’t take it anymore and resigned. Us along with about 50 other people left but our old youth pastor and his wife are giving us a hard time and are spreading rumors about one of my friends. It’s really hard not to feel vengeful or angry especially when I see them around town? How do I respond if they try to contact me? Part of me wants to be nice but at the same time I feel like I want to yell at them what do I do?

    2. So I’ve been hurt by my church because I do so much and all I ask in return is to be treated as a member of the church like everyone else. Little things have happened before where my husband and I were left out of stuff but after directly being told it wouldn’t happen again it happened. They held a vote for everyone to vote on and no one told me and my husband. They voted without us. I would like to take a break from the church to calm down but my parents would kill me and everyone would judge me 🙁 idk what to do. Any advice?

    3. I have been going to the same church for 5 years now. I go to youth group but the problem is that everyone ignores me, to the point where they don’t even look at me at school and church. The sad part is that they’ll say hi to my parents (that are standing a few inches in front of me) but act like I wasn’t even there. The worst part is that the “oldest” kids of the group are only 1 year older than me. I am one of the oldest but yet I still get treated like the youngest. I have tried many times to engage but yet I still get ignored. This has been happening for 5 years now.

      Whenever I had a problem I could never go to my youth group or youth pastor because I knew that they wouldn’t care.

    4. number three is so true! and it happens often! plus some people don’t have time to talk to God because they are so busy helping around in church all day and they think that if they don’t spend time with God at least it’s okay because they are going to do God’s business in church anyway so it’s like no biggie, ya know?

    5. My Sunday School and Youth Group aren’t doing too well with being Godly, Biblical, and simply “on track”. It’s really hard because I need a place to grow and be with like-minded teens, but the teens in the groups are actually destroying the church as the next generation. I’m glad I read this. Thank you so much!

    6. Wow, I really needed this post. The church I have been going to for the last couple of years really hurt me this past month. It helps in away to know I am no the only one who has gone through this. I ended up having to walk away. but my prayer is still reconciliation if possible.

    7. Thank you for posting this. It definitely brought some peace to me. My church has been great but some Christian role models in my life let me down really, really hard at one point and I was so, so lost. It’s so important to keep faith and understand that nothing in this world is perfect – not people, not churches, not anything. Only God – He’s the one we should always look to and I truly believe sometimes we are let down so that the only place we have to go to is God. He truly knows us, what we need, and how to give it to us. All the love and praise to Him.

    8. Wow! Thanks so much for this. Such a powerful message that we can lift our gaze off God to focus on our surroundings too much when only God is perfect and we can do be so expectant of others.

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