What To Do When The Boy That You Like Likes Someone Else

    Dating can be pretty complicated, especially when you like someone who likes someone else. This can be a tough pill to swallow and rather hurtful. So what should you do in this situation? Here are some suggestions:

    • Prayer. God says that He’ll always be there to comfort you. Ask Him for the strength that you need to work through the disappointment so that you’re better able to accept that you’re just friends.

    • Make a mental note to self: You are special! Don’t think for a single second that this means there’s something wrong with you. That’s simply NOT true. There are a ton of reasons why some relationships don’t work out or never happen. Remember, God closes some doors so that He can open others.

    When I was your age I wasn’t allowed to date. Even as I entered my twenties, I struggled with dating. Unfortunately, I felt inept and like guys just didn’t notice me. As I became more confident in my greatness as a child of God, I realized that there was NOTHING wrong with me and that God had someone special for me. I discovered that it’s okay that the other guys didn’t like me because they weren’t who God had created for me. All this to say, God has someone JUST FOR YOU and when that time comes, the other relationships just won’t seem to matter!

    • Respect your friendship. If the guy that you like likes someone else, don’t try to sabotage that relationship. Remember to treat others the way that you want to be treated. The Bible says this:

    So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 7:12).

    • Give yourself some space. If it’s too hard to watch the boy that you like dating someone else, it’s okay to distance yourself from him. You shouldn’t try to sabotage the relationship, but you don’t have to subject yourself to additional pain, either. Being a good friend means knowing your limits and taking some time away when you need it. It’s much easier to be a good friend AFTER you’ve healed and regenerated yourself.

    • Keep yourself occupied. Try to keep your mind off the situation by engaging in new and exciting activities. It’s easier to move forward when you’re doing other things and interacting with other people regularly. Sitting at home depressed will just make the situation worse.

    Remember that it’s okay to choose to WAIT to date. Dating can sometimes produce unnecessary pressure and premature emotional attachment. You can avoid some emotional pain simply by choosing to wait until you’re older to date. Whatever you choose, whether its to date or to wait, remember that you’re God’s girl and you’re worthy of respect.

    I know it isn’t fun when you like someone who likes someone else, but remember that in due season, you’ll meet your future husband. When that happens, what’s going on now will be like a distant memory.

    When your heart is broken, who do you turn to first?

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    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. Yeah, I agree with the last part, you don’t NEED to date, you can be a nun, because also note, there aren’t all too terribly many nuns and monks, because very few people are chosen to be nuns or monks. We had a priest to teen talk after church about dating. Not to mention, if you date with someone, and you’re alone with that person, there will be temptations to have sex, or even possibly a date rape, so group dating is always an awesome idea too if you are. Just a side note…. Make sure to actually KNOW the person, make sure he’s Christian, and even better, the same type of Christianity you are because it would be a bit confusing if you weren’t.

    2. I love it. I’m not going through this but I have in the past. What I used to do was convince myself that “he” didn’t like “her”. But of course that wasn’t true…and now, like in the song “Bless The Broken Road”, I am so thankful none of them liked me.

    3. We just talked about this at youth group! You should wait to date! Before the cultural term of dating, there was arranged marriages and courting (meeting the family of a man/woman with the intent of marrying that man/woman). We should date with the mentality of courting. We should also be so wrapped up in Jesus’ love, we don’t need a guy right now! If you do these two things, it will scare some people off, but the right guy will accept it and be for it! Thanks for this great article!

      • Have you ever read any of the books by Josh Harris on the subject? He’s really good at pinpointing that in the books I’ve read. Look him up if you haven’t 😉 Good read, and it goes right along with what you just said.

        • I love Josh Harris’s books! @Mightymissm- that is such an awesome story! I decided that I would try courting when I am ready, but I don’t know many people who do. It’s nice to hear about that couple!

      • Amen. THere are two people at my church (they are in college) and instead of dating, they are courting. When I asked the girl why she replied “Because I want to make sure that he is the right guy, and before I do, I don’t want to get too wrapped up in his love to forget God’s” I think it’s so sweet when a guy is willing to WAIT for you.

    4. I think that to protect your heart, you should keep yourself for that one special guy that GOD will tell you is the right one, NOT your friends. Because every time you date a guy, he takes a little piece of your heart with him when he leaves. Eventually your heart will be a ripped up, stomped on, torn apart scrap and what will you have for your husband? What will you have to give God?

    5. My best guy friend and I were REALLY close. He was such a great guy and really treated me with respect. And then I moved, but I didn’t realize that I gave him my heart to him. (not my body, just my heart) But I miss him SO much. The “One that Got Away” by Katy Perry makes me cry. I’m listening to it now. He got away and he took my heart with him.

      Anyhow, that’s my sad sob story of the day. I just wanted to say that you DON’T have to date in order to get your heart broken. It can be broke without dating. He didn’t even now how much he meant to me. He didn’t know how much I loved him.

    6. This is pretty much what i’m dealing w/at my church right now.A boy that I pretty much like likes another girl and she likes him back.It’s extremely distracting to me!I’m glad I read this.I’ll have to pray about this situation.This guy actually dosn’t really hang around me and his other friends anymore since this girl came to our church.Believe I don’t blame this on the girl!I’m just…jealous I guess.Thankyou to whoever wrote this. 🙂

    7. i am a middle schooler and i have a boy that i like but the thing i he likes another girl that i do not really get along with. well the thing is i am in track with him and he is always staring or looking at me and i always have second thoughts on if i like him or not what should i do??????

    8. Hey I do have a question ok. My crush i’ve liked for years likes another girl who likes him. It doesnt bother except for the fact that he is my best best best friends older brother. And I see him alot. Any advice on how to get over the guy considering I see him ALOT and everytime I see him I fall head over heels for the thousandth time…

      • I wish I’d had this earlier, but in college I came up with a prayer based on council I had gotten over time, and things I’d heard and read. It worked EVERY time, including when it was my husband, THE RIGHT ONE! It was something like this:
        “God, ________ likes me (or I like _______). If this is not the one you have for me, then please take the feelings away quickly and painlessly. If this is the right one, let it grow until we have to do something about it.”
        It worked for me, as I said, every time! 🙂

    9. This was exactly what I needed since I’m currently in this situation. The guy I found is an amazing Christian but sadly hes with someone else. But we are pretty good friends and frankly I like it that way for now. He said we are pretty good friends and I’m glad to have a guy friend by me who totally understands me. 🙂

    10. I really appreaciate you putting this up I really have emotional issues like this when it comes to these topics for the longest time I thought that if I got asked out by a boy I’d be pretty, but it didn’t happen. I was really glad when God pulled me out of that and made me realize that I was more precious than rubies, and beautiful, because he made me the way I am. I’ve been currently been struggling with these thoughts again and this is like God giving me a sign, I hope other girls my age get a lot out of this.

    11. This article could not have come at a better time. The person who I care about is not currently dating anyone, but I just don’t know that he cares about me as much as I do him. I have also been thinking that if God has made us to be then I really should not worry about it. It’s sometimes hard to keep my mind off him though 🙂

    12. I can TOTALLY relate to this. I was dating a guy for 2 years when our parents made us break up because we weren’t 16 yet so we weren’t supposed to be dating. But we still liked each other, we just promised to wait. Around then, I had a new best friend who had just moved from CA to my church. And he started liking her while liking me, and then left me for her. I was sooo depressed and heartbroken, so I tried sabotaging their relationship. It did nothing but make people think I was a psycho. All I did all day was cry and think about how he left me for her and I’d have to see them hanging out every single day for months. For the two years that I had dated him, I practically lived to be with him, so when he left me I felt like there was no purpose to live anymore. I literally wanted to die. And I told him that one time when I got so hurt at him for what he had done to me. This article is something I wish I had read then. I wish I could re-do everything I messed up then, I still feel guilt for it all the time…

      • Hey girl, don’t feel guilty! Confess it to God and ask Him to help you forget. The important thing is that you learn from it. It might also be helpful to ask their forgiveness. You’ll do great in later relationships I’m sure! You’ve already learned a hard lesson, and this article under your belt, you’ll be a great girlfriend to the next guy. And who knows, maybe he’ll be “the one”! 🙂

      • Guilt is something God doesn’t want us to deal with, either. We make mistakes all the time. I had a guy go for another girl, when I had been sure before that he was only into me. But to be honest, God used that for good. He’s shown me the flaws in that boy, and I have someone else now who is a stronger Christian and understands me better, and probably cares about me more than the other kid ever did. So you just have to let it go. Do whatever it takes to let that guilt go. I’ve been so wracked by guilt that I cried every night, too. It just isn’t worth it. I finally ended up giving it to God, but not before I had learned the valuable lesson of forgiving myself. Just give your burdens to God; “Though the path is narrow, the burden is light.”

    13. Theirs a guy I like, he’s a month younger than me. He’s really short and has the cutest simile. No matter how ugly or pretty you are, he treats you like your the most special girl in the world! He’s always their to talk to, and he has a lot of girls that like him because of this. For the eighth grade dance this year, he had a lot of girls who wanted to go with him, (including me). When I heard he had asked a girl to go with him I was heart broken. I went home, and was going to call my best friend when I realized that he WAS my best friend! I went to the dance with a couple other close friends, I had made up my mind that I would ignore him the whole night. When I saw him, I cried, for I realized how selfish I had been. He had asked a girl who had a mental problem which caused her to speak differently and her face was a little, OK, a lot messed up. While I was thinking of me, he was thinking of others. I don’t deserve him, but maybe I could have him anyway!? 😀

    14. I didn’t date as a teen. We weren’t encouraged, and at age 15 I vowed to God and my parents I wouldn’t date till College. Well, in the small (I mean SMALL) Christian college I went to, I didn’t date much at all. I saw my friends get married, start having babies, and there I was. Alone. I used to cry and wonder why me, and what was wrong with me. I even considered changing to be more worldly like the popular and “beautiful” girls. I decided that just wasn’t me! I graduated, got really really sick and had to move back home, and long story short, a few years later, I found out why I had to wait. I was 25 when I met my husband. He was only barely 18. God wanted him to have time to grow up first! 🙂 He is SO worth waiting for, and now we’re going to be married 4 years this fall and I’ll be having my 1st child! 🙂

    15. Oh my gosh THANK YOU FOR HAVING THIS TOPIC!!!! I had dealt with this situation 12 to 15 times COUNTING. I always hated whenever I tried to talk or plan to talk to the guy I like and I wouldn’t see him, he already had a girlfriend, or he would be talking his friends or some girls. Thank you for encouraging me and being an inspiration!!

    16. Also because of this one time I got so mad that when he(the boy I like) was walking by my friend and I, I got my purse and smacked his chest with it real hard. lol!! and i started laughing after i did that. By the way I never had a boyfriend and im glad that my friends see me as a unique person

    17. I have given this problum in my life to God but in truth when i sit and think about it it still hurts. You see when i first moved to the church i go to i saw him like the second time i went. At first i just thought he was cute. That summer i met my best friend abby. She was one of his friends and since i was nerveous around guys (most other guys i had ever met were really flirtatious with me and i was scared theyd get more inappropriate than just words. I got it into my head that all guys were like that.) but my bestie wanted to prove that wasnt the way it was by introducing me to the guy i thought was cute. She told me he was waiting on dating and i was floored. He was the first guy who had ever thought the way i did. When she went to introduce me to him he was ironically comforting a girl who had just been hurt by a guy and trying to convince her it was best to wait. I almost passed out then and there! Well a while after that i saw very clearly that he loved my best friend thoughshe didnt love him. He wasnt dating her and he never asked her but based on his parents he was having an emotional “affair” with her. I saw it and it broke my heart. I “stopped” liking him. A year later i was still hisfriend and we were closer as friends though his relationship with my bestie stil, worried me. My friend decided to put distance between him and her. She did and i could see it hurt him. She then fell for a great guy from her band group that she had known for a while. They are not dating yet but are really close friends. I was sorry for the guy i liked because i had seen and heard from his own mouth how much he loved her. I could just see his heart break and as his broke i prayed for him soon realizing i had never stopped loving him. At first i felt like i couldnt trust him because of the way he had gone back on his word with my bestie but God helped me forgive him. I have forgiven all his past (which includes more than just my bestie) he really is a great guy in all respects. He is trustworthy. But like you and me everyone slips up. I feel like i would marry him if he asked me someday BUT (and this is where the problum is) i am going to be a doctor in foreign places and he is going to stay home and be a artist. God has recently told me my husband would be missionary. This breaks my heart. I prayed God would help me live in his perfect will and i feel much better, my heart is not as heavy, but what would you suggest i do to help with these feelings. I really do love this young man. He amazes me. Thanks for any replies. <3

      • *it doesnt break my heart that God wants me to marry a missionary! That is wonderful and so perfect lol. It breaks my heart that i know thats NOT what the guy i like wants/will be. He is an amazing artist. And i believe God will not place him in a place that wont work for him (like public speaking). Any ideas of WHY i love him so much (or why God would let me love him so much)if by Gods own words he is not the right one?

    18. I have a question for you. I’ve been in this situation so many times I’ve lost count. I fall for the guy, and he doesn’t even notice me. I know how to deal with it, and that’s not at all a problem for me. What is a problem, is when I like a guy and he likes me back. Problem? You ask? What problem? The problem comes in when my best friend (literally, I love this girl more than anything in the world) comes along after the guy dumps me and then THEY start dating. What am I supposed to do then? She felt terrible about it when it first happened, but after I assured her that it wouldn’t bother me that they were dating (after all, was I really going to lose my best friend to some guy?), she seems more than slightly insensitive towards my situation. The only advice my parents can give me is, “Just wait it out, time heals all wounds,” and all that jazz. But honestly, that doesn’t help much.

      And please understand that it takes a lot for me to ask for advice, so by me doing this I hope you realize how frustrated and tired I am. I sincerely hope I don’t come off as rude, that is absolutely not what I’m trying to accomplish. Thank you for reading this.

      • My first question would be if she is a christian or not. If shes not and youve already explained yourself the best route is to just keep loving her and even though its hard leave it be. Thats the best why. If she is a christian and she really cares about and you tell her she should at least try to be more sensitive not nessicarily but be more kind around you. If she is a christian and youve told and she doesnt care at all id say back off of the relationship now. She obviously doesnt care enough to be courteous to you. Now im not saying she should stop altogether! Best friends tend to like the same guys. Im just saying if she wont be careful with your feelings. Also may i suggest you two read i kissed dating goodbye. Its so helpful and if you both get a revelation from its pages and begin to change your thinking on dating it would fix the whole sich. I recommend no dating until your old enough for marriage. After all that is what dating is meant to lead to. Praying over you :))

    19. That happens to me all the time. I can admit, I am not very attractive, but I learned never to change your self and potentially ruin your life just to get a boy! I have better things to do with my life than that! 😉

    20. I’ve been trying to get over my feelings for this one guy for over a year and seven months now. It is really difficult since my love for him literally sprouted from friendship. I remember just seeing him as a friend but now i see him as a beautiful soul that delights in Jesus. I keep trying to tell myself that he loves someone else(his girlfriend) and that we are just friends(we never dated but i did tell him how i feel). I’m still in the process of getting over him. Lord help!

    21. I struggle so much in this area! Thank you so much for writing this! Just the other day the guy I like told me that he liked my friend! It was hard but with Gods help I am getting over it! Thanks so much for telling the best way to handle it!!

    22. Well actually we started out as just friends. And the more i talked to him the more i started liking him. I’m not sure if he likes me, but i’m not pushing him because he’s trying to get over another girl, & it doesn’t help that his parents aren’t fond of me. ='(

      • You have no need to feel guilty. Yoi dont like him anymore. God will bring the right people, the right person to you and alomg with it the right feelings. It may not be immediate attraction but rather come. To the point where you realize you both think hes cute and feel you could follow his lead. That is the only type of relationship you want to go into. Wait to date until you can consider marriage and you find the one you can follow (and dont forget to ask God too) :)) dont feel guilty. My favorite saying is, “who are you to think that your big enough to change GODS plans or make the author of your story scratch his head in bewilderment? He knows everythibg you will and will not do and already has your path aligned to fix any mistakes.” -joel Osteen.

      • I would not consider dating him until he has his life straight. I would pray and ask God to help you to get over him. When he gets his life under control, then it would be okay to consider a relationship. Also, if he drinks and he’s under age, then as his girlfried, he might pressure you to drink also. Maybe God’s protecting you from something. I would pray for God to help you to be strong.

    23. I think, overall, this was a great article. One thing that I feel I have to point out,though, is that it’s not God’s plan for everyone to get married. Nowhere in the Bible does He promise that. But, we have to trust that when He calls us to a life of singleness, that he would supply us with the grace and blessings to help us through it.

    24. This is exactly what I’ve needed to know because twice now this has happened to me. I have started off as friends with a guy and started to like him and he likes someone else. The only difference is I’m shoved to the side and they no longer talk to me or anything. I want to hold onto a friendship, but they make it impossible. Do I just let it go or try to fight for it?

    25. I was dating someone when my guy friend confessed his feelings for me.Things didn’t last with that guy, but almost a year later, I started developing feelings for my guy friend. Problem is, he JUST started dating another girl and I didn’t have the courage to admit to him. Feeling frustrated beyond belief. Any more sage advice, plz?

    26. Thank you for this article! I have a lot of trouble with this. When I think about it logically, I should let the boy I like have as many girlfriends as he likes before I date him so he can have some experience with girls and know how to treat a girl properly, but whenever I actually see him talking to another girl he might like, I just burn up inside! But then I turn to God and he reminds me of the logical conclusion that I mentioned before.

    27. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
      Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

      I like to cite this everytime I feel as if though I’ve become too attached to my crush. I just try to remind myself that some things just aren’t meant to be. Thise verse has helped me out a lot and maybe it’ll help others too, so I decided to share it.

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