What to Do When You Seriously Can’t Get Over Your Ex
Written by Rebecca Claire | November 5, 2015
Whoever coined the phrase “breaking up is hard to do” had no idea how much harder it would be to call it quits in the digital age. With one click of a button, you can still feel like part of your ex’s life. You can see pictures of what he ate for breakfast, that road trip he took with his guy friends and even—gasp!—that girl he might be dating.
Breakups are strange beasts. One day the two of you are together; the next, you’re not. It’s tricky getting your brain to adjust to such a drastic change. There is no easy 12-step program for getting over a broken heart, but here are a few suggestions that might help.
- Put your feelings into words. Grab your best girlfriends. Call your mom. Have a chat with someone you trust. Just start talking about your feelings. The more you talk about what happened, the more you will be able to process your breakup. Keep a prayer journal and note the ways that God sustains you, and the things you’ve learned about yourself through your breakup.
- Take a vacation from social media. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat—whatever form of social media you use can be your biggest hindrance to healing. The tendency to compare yourself to others can intensify during times of a breakup, which can lead to bitterness. Spend a few weeks devoting the time you would normally be using to scroll through Facebook on prayer instead.
- Do something nice for someone else. God calls us to serve others, even in times of brokenness. There is no better way to get through a tough time than to serve someone else. Volunteer at your church’s youth group or serve meals at a soup kitchen.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Is there something you’ve been wanting to try, but just haven’t had the time to do it? Now is the time. Relationships are great, but being single has its rewards as well. Dive into a new project or hobby. Stay physically active, challenge yourself to go for hikes or join a new class at the gym. Improving your mind and health can help you feel reinvigorated about your future.
- Take some time for yourself. It’s easy to lose your identity when you start dating someone. Relationships are full of compromise, and couples tend to start to pick on the habits of their partners. After a breakup, you might have to trudge through an existential crisis. Have no fear; this is an essential part of the healing process. Use this time to remind yourself what you want out of life before you enter into another relationship.
Breakups are rough, but through Christ, you are stronger than anything life throws at you (Philippians 4:13). Remember, “God heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). Breaking up is hard to do, but you have the God of the universe to sustain you.