What to Do When Your Close Friends Exclude You

    Project Inspired started a group specifically for the Girl Talk questions, which typically come from the Girl Talk chat wall on Facebook. Click here to safely join our chat group.

    In school, it is inevitable that at one time or another you may have your feelings hurt by your close friends or your group of friends. What do you do when someone excludes you or when your best friend becomes closer to someone other than you?

    This week on the Girl Talk forum, a PI Girl asked about what to do because her best friend has latched onto someone else and she feels a little bit hurt or excluded.

    In this situation, first I would pray. Next, I would communicate to your friend about it. I would say that you should refrain from being jealous or possessive and know that your best friend will have other friends besides you. If your friend is purposely excluding you, ask if you did something wrong and make amends. Ask for forgiveness and see if that improves the situation.

    If you have a healthy conversation and communicate properly in love, you should be able to work things out peacefully. Maybe you can all hang out and do fun things together?

    Another idea is to be open to making other friends besides your best friend, too! Life is all about balance and you want to be a person who includes others as well.

    I would advise you to be the friend you want someone to be to you. As they say, “Treat others how you want to be treated,” and as the Bible says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). Don’t let envy come between you and your best friend and make sure you take hold of your emotions before getting upset. You need to address the situation and not assume something, because sometimes in life there are misunderstandings.

    Sometimes people don’t even know that they are hurting your feelings. Ask yourself what Jesus would do and make sure to love those who can even be an enemy or ones who have harmed you. We are told to turn the other cheek. I’m not saying to allow mistreatment, but what I am saying is to stay humble and understanding. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to shine for Him.

    Ask God to help you through the Holy Spirit and to give you the words to say for your friend, and also ask Jesus to allow peace to enter the situation. God will fight your battles for you—just step out in faith and in love. Also, I want to remind you that you are never alone because God is always with you.

    People may hurt us or forsake us, but Jesus never will. We know human beings are flawed and we live in a fallen world, so just remember that God has overcome the world and that we can always count on Him.

    If you are still stuck after trying all these different words of advice that I shared, maybe ask a youth pastor and/or parent to help you. Ask what they would do.

    If after this, your friend is being mean-spirited or really shows other true colors that are not Christlike, maybe God wants you to make new friends and give the person space. Some people are called to our life for a season, not a lifetime. It’s not easy, but seek God’s word and He will show you in due time.

    I am praying for you, PI Girls! We love you girls and pray this community of Project Inspired Girls helps to remind you that you have the body of Christ and have sisters who intercede for you! God has the best for you. Be encouraged!

    Write a comment below if you have advice or if you need prayer. You may message me for prayer requests or further questions on this topic at


    Christi Given
    Christi Given
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.


    1. The link you included in this post did not work for me so I’m just going to comment here what my question is. I am in a mostly all girls program that lasts for 5 months and the 8 girls I am in class with always judge me and tell me that I need to cut back on my sugar or tell me what small things I’m doing wrong or getting behind on. My question mostly is how can I address that it’s hurting me and my grades and also how can I stand up for myself if they don’t listen? I feel like I’m being picked on but I don’t know if that’s just me being sensitive or not.
      If you can make a blog post about that then please go ahead and do so. I’m just having trouble with it.
      Thank you!

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