fbpx

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy here!

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy now!

  • Relationships
  • News From Nicole
More

    What to Do When Your Ex Says “I Miss You”

    It’s almost midnight. You’re finishing up a research paper that’s due tomorrow. Your phone lights up and there on the screen is a name you haven’t seen in a while—a name you may have never wanted to see again.

    The text says: “I miss you.” It’s your ex.

    What do you do?

    Every breakup has different circumstances, but some things are universal. Whether you broke up with your boyfriend or he broke up with you, the pursuit of “closure” is often a façade for attention. Before you respond to that “I miss you” text, take time to do these four things.

     

    1. Stay rooted in reality.

    Remind yourself of the truth. What were the REAL circumstances of the breakup? It’s easy to romanticize the past and make bad situations seem much less traumatic than they were. Don’t rewrite history; stay rooted in reality. Just because he wants you back doesn’t mean he has changed.

    If you did the breaking up, don’t let guilt motivate a speedy answer. You need wisdom for situations like these.

     

    2. Ask the Lord for wisdom.

    Wisdom is “knowledge applied.” Before responding to your ex, take the time to pray. Don’t let urgency tempt you to say things in haste that you may later regret. You can take several days to respond and pray over what to say, if anything. Ask God to give you wisdom.

     

    If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. (James 1:5)

     

    You need God’s long-term view to answer this situation appropriately. Don’t think you can figure this out on your own!

     

    3. Delay your response.

    As previously mentioned, don’t be afraid to take some time before responding. You do not owe an immediate response to your ex. You don’t owe that to anyone. Before technology, people waited hours, days or weeks to hear from one another. You need time to process this and respond in a God-honoring, wisdom-based way. Whether that means taking a few hours or taking a few days, do what is necessary to respond well.

     

    4. Talk to a mentor.

    Finally, it’s understandable if you immediately text your bestie that your ex reached out—but find someone older and wiser to talk to as well. Ideally, you have a mentor in your life who is discipling you (if not, begin looking for one!). Talk to her about your situation, asking for advice and wisdom. Her perspective will help you make a decision that both honors God and honors others.

     

    Is it tough to hold off on responding right away? Definitely! We all crave drama at least a little. But just as we need to honor God in our dating relationships and friendships, we must continue to uphold that honor even when a relationship ends. “I miss you” may have been sent on impulse, but you can respond with wisdom and grace.

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimerhttps://phyliciamasonheimer.com/
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    Read On

    Why You Should Release Your Ex to Love Again

    Even when the breakup is months behind us, there’s a certain sting when an ex moves on. Even if you’re in a happy relationship...

    7 Signs You’re a Christian Girl Who’s in Love with Fall

    Fall is upon us. You know what that brings—comfy boots, knit sweaters, cooler temperatures, and warm lattes! Here are a few signs you are...

    5 Helpful Tips for Your Fall Skin Care Routine

    Hello fall! Now that we've fully transitioned into the autumn season, it's time we talk skin care! You may be wondering, "What's the big...

    How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Fall

    It’s hard to believe we are talking about the turn of seasons, but crisp air and school days are just around the corner! As...

    ‘God’s Always Had a Plan for Me’ Kanye West Shares While Performing ‘Jesus Walks’ on James Corden’s ‘Carpool Karaoke’

    For the last few weeks, Kanye West has been promoting his newest album "Jesus Is King," by appearing on a few select shows. Last week,...

    Subscribe!

    Stay connected with Project Inspired.