When Everyone Wants You to Be Dating (Except You)
Written by Phylicia Masonheimer | February 22, 2018
Not every girl is in a rush to find a boyfriend. Not every girl is discontent with her singleness. Yet somehow, the ones who are enjoying their single stage the most are often the target of probing questions from acquaintances and family alike:
“Don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”
“Why aren’t you dating?”
“I know someone who would be PERFECT for you!”
What do you do when it seems everyone wants you to be dating—except you?
Try Not to Take It Personally
It can be annoying when family and friends refuse to accept you as a single person, as if you’re incomplete without a guy on your arm. But as obnoxious as it can be, try not to take their comments personally. These comments come from a place of love and affection, not from judgment (in most cases!). Your parents, grandparents, neighbors and friends want to see you appreciated by a great guy. And if they have positive romantic relationships themselves, they want that happiness for you!
It’s hard to endure such comments when you’d much rather be asked about your work, travel or ministry, so be as positive as possible—then redirect the conversation to what you’re already doing with your life.
Remember: You Answer to God, Not to People
Don’t let comments and pressure from people make you doubt your contentment in this season. You don’t answer to people, and nothing is wrong with you if you don’t want a relationship right now! You answer to the Lord, who loves you and has called you to the work you’re doing. If you’re doing that work well and to His glory, you’re not missing out on anything. He will bless your obedience and reward your faith in Him (because contentment is a product of faith!).
Don’t resent the people who press the relationship issue, but instead turn them over to the Lord and remember that He is on your side. You’re following Him, and when it’s time for you to meet a great guy, He can interrupt you in the middle of your work.
Embrace Your Season With Confidence
If you’re loving this season, continue to do so! Embrace your singleness with confidence and people will stop asking questions. In fact, people are often drawn to Christ-based confidence because so many women in this world depend on a man for their happiness. The fact that you can have joy, peace and purpose in the absence of a romantic relationship is a wonderful witness to those around you.
Your season of work, college, ministry and whatever else God has called you to do is preparing you for the next step. You don’t know what that looks like, so live well in this period. Make the most of the opportunities that come your way. Don’t be afraid to say “yes” to things you wouldn’t be able to embrace if you were in a relationship. Ask God for wisdom and discernment to know which doors to walk through and which to close.
As people continue to ask about your singleness, as they inevitably will, you can be the one to remind them that the world is very big place with very few people to do God’s work. And you’re out there doing it! If God has a man in your future, you’ll want one with the same vision. Rather than wait for him to arrive, you’ll let him meet you on the journey.