It feels like pretty much every week, a famous couple who seem like they are “meant to be” decide to end their marriage.
Now perhaps you’re just not that into celebrity culture. Or maybe, like me, even though you don’t actually know these people, you get really bummed to hear about other people’s divorces—like “shed a tear and think about it for days” kind of bummed. Why are you having these sad feelings for people you will likely never meet, and what do you do about moving on?
Why You’re So Sad
- You feel like you know them. Even if you don’t follow them on Twitter, you might know fun facts about the couple just from browsing the Internet, like where they met, how many kids they have and what they like to do together. Seeing their pictures over the last decade and their children grow up can feel a little like they’re a family you know from church or down the street.
- You lose a little faith in love. Obviously we all know that Hollywood’s version of fairy-tale love just doesn’t exist in the real world. However, it can be fun to pretend it does. The difference between character couples in movies/TV shows and actual people is that we don’t usually see the breakup of fictional love on screen. Seeing it play out in life is a bit of a shock to the system.
- Your spiritual gifts may actually be shining through. If you haven’t realized it before, the gifts of mercy and/or empathy may have been given to you by the Holy Spirit. Those with this gift are able to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15) and “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). Perhaps your deep pain associated with others’ pain is exactly the way God made you to feel.
- Divorce is a tragedy. Whether you’ve experienced divorce in your own life or seen it played out in the lives of those around you, it’s apparent that it brings with it a great deal of suffering. It rips families apart, and even in the best-case scenario it usually means kids see a lot less of both of their parents. It can have lasting effects on the way people approach relationships and trust others as adults. Seeing celebrity divorces may even remind you of your own family or people you know, and can open old emotional wounds.
How to Deal With the Sadness
- Pray for those affected by divorce. Talk to God about your feelings. Ask Him to provide you ways to minister to those around you going through the breakup of their family. Pray that their pain is alleviated and the church has an opportunity to minister to them.
- Base your #MarriageGoals on strong Christian couples. If you like having happily married couples to look up to, focus on your own parents (if their relationship is strong), pastors at your church, or even Nicole and Eric Weider! It is possible to be in a lifelong marriage filled with love for each other and Christ. You just need to make sure you’re looking for it in the right places.
- Learn from others’ mistakes. Obviously none of us know the details of why these marriages failed. However, we can decide the things we want in our own future relationships and marriage. A strenuous travel and work schedule can be trying for a couple. You both need to agree upon having lots of time apart and need to discover ways to connect while you’re apart. Another key element is to decide with your future partner that divorce is not EVER an option—not even the discussion of the topic. Lastly, approach your relationships with God and His desires at the center. He will help keep you strong as a couple.
Do you get sad about celebrity divorces? Have you dealt with divorce in your own life?