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Love

Why I’m Waiting for Love, By PI Girl Chels

Have you ever been “in love” before? And by this, I mean, you know — guys.

When you were younger, maybe five to eight years old, guys were untouchable because, well — cooties.

And then, when you got a little older, maybe 10 to 12 years old, you started seeing guys in a whole new way. If you were a calm and collected child who was completely aware of growing up, you might have brushed it off and said, “Well. I’ve officially entered puberty.” Or, if you were like me, an insane child, you might have freaked out and started running for the hills.

Just me? Okay.

Ah. The wonderful Guys and Girls and the Differences Between the Two Talk. The most awkward or totally normal two hours of your life? You decide.

And then there were those things called crushes.

Crushes are called crushes for a specific reason. When you like someone who probably thinks you’re nonexistent, you feel kinda…crushed. Sort of like standing by his locker, and then he comes by, doesn’t notice you, and opens his locker and it goes swinging into your face. Ouch.

Crushes are usually emotional dealings of the heart. You think, “Oh my gosh, he doesn’t even know I exist…what to do, what to do…”

That or you just stand there and watch him with this goofy smile on your face. Apparently crushes can drive us insane and berserk. They’re tormenting. You blush when he’s around, and he doesn’t even notice. Ugh.

Crushes — we’ve all been there. It was a heartbreaking phase of life and love that we now look back and laugh at. “You know…that one cute boy I liked in kindergarten…”

And now you might still be in that crush-phase. Or you’re going on 16 like me or caught somewhere in those early teenage years. Once you get to this age, love becomes a game.

What do I mean by a game? I mean that love becomes something you gamble at. I know it sounds bad — that’s because it is. What does it mean to gamble at love? It means you give more than you know you’ll get back.

A few examples of “gambling at love” are giving away your virginity out of marriage (regardless of whether you know this person or not); spending excessive time fantasizing about the future of a new (or nonexistent) relationship; allowing the relationship to consume you; allowing the relationship to destruct boundaries, etc. I could go on and on about the mistakes I see being made in teen relationships today. Most people would ask me, “But why do you think you can judge these relationships? Obviously you’ve never been in their shoes.”

Right. I’ve never been in their shoes — but I’ve been in another pair of shoes next to them while handing them tissues. I see the result of hasty and unhealthy relationships, and honestly, why would I want to put my shoes into that kind of situation? I don’t need to experience an unhealthy relationship to be able to know it’s unhealthy.

A Godly guy isn’t going to look at a girl and say, “Hmm, let me look at her record and see how many guys she’s been with and how much experience she has.”

A Godly guy who wishes to pursue a healthy, God-centered relationship wants a girl who has been wise in relationships. He wants a girl who has displayed discernment in her decisions. This doesn’t just include relationships — this includes everything.

Nobody is going to have a perfect record. No one is going to say, “I’ve never been tempted to be in a relationship that I knew wasn’t good for me.” It is a part of our human nature to want to feel a sense of belonging and to be loved, physically and emotionally.

And there is a chance to turn back for every girl and guy who have made mistakes. The Godly girl isn’t necessarily the girl who has had the least amount of relationships — more so the girl who has learned from previous relationships and has gained knowledge and wishes to improve from them.

I have a mental list of what my dream guy is like, what God’s dream guy for me is like. Look at this list and you will realize that there’s a lot of minor details that didn’t make it to the list (i.e. blue eyes, dirty-blond hair, loves chocolate ice cream and loves Twizzlers). Why not? Because that’s not what God looks at. When He was busy selecting my future husband, He considered our marriage, our promises and our hearts. Everything else is just extra.

So how do you get your list to look like God’s list? Now that you desire to be wise about the relationships you enter, how can you be sure what to look for?

1. Pray. 
Huh. Cliche much? But guess what? One of our means of communication with God is through prayer. It’s a 24-hour, toll-free, never-busy line that stays open for you all the time. Bring your relationships to God. Ask Him what He wants to see in your future, rather than what you want to see in your future. Ask God what He wants on your list.

2. Give God ultimate control.
God knows the future of your relationship/s, but He gives you the choice to ask Him for guidance. Do so. When you give God the control of which direction your relationship is headed, you are submitting to God’s will and often that turns out a lot better than your own will.

3. Trust God with your past, present and future relationships.
Why do I mention past as well? Because those are all a part of His will. They all played a role in molding the decisions you will make as a girl or guy. God desires to have an intimate, trusting relationship with us. He wants us to trust Him wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly means no half-way or partial trust. It means entire trust.

As a single, going on 16-year-old, sometimes I wonder when that perfect guy is going to come into my life. My life dream has been to grow up with my future husband. To know each other for years and years before we say “I do.” (Just one of those minor details again.) And it’s frustrating to me when I see that it’s not happening; that no guy is coming into my life yet. And while my friends are starting to get asked out on dates which could lead to potential relationships, I’m sitting here wondering, “Uh. When is that going to happen for me?”

The hardest part is letting “Jesus take the wheel” and allowing Him to take ultimate control of what’s ahead. He often sees the red light before we do. We just have to trust Him.

I guess we could sum this up pretty neatly. The human love life psychology is complex and has its heartbreaks along the way. But when we give God control, our “list” and our discernment become what His list looks like and we accept what wisdom He has to offer us.

I wait for love because God wants all of me before I enter a relationship.We often question why we should wait (or why we’re still waiting), but if we pray and ask God, maybe we’ll discover that our hearts don’t belong fully to God yet, and until they do, we aren’t ready to be in an earthly relationship.

Trust Him with your life before you trust him (any guy) with your heart.

Written by PI Girl Chels

Do you have words of wisdom you want to share with the PI community? Submit your own article here!

Image: iStockphoto | ThinkStock

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59 Comments

  1. RosyMermaid16

    Posted by RosyMermaid16 on June 25, 2014 at 17:11

    Great advice!:)

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by lovejoypeacebell@hotmail.com on May 6, 2014 at 12:21

    Thankyou SO much I am sooo happy you posted this thank you thank you!!!! I guess I’m not the only girl that feels this way lol!

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on May 7, 2014 at 09:43

      Haha I feel the same way after reading all you guys’ comments! I love how we’re all walking the same road together. I feel very strongly about this so I’m glad I’m not alone!

  3. Book-nerd

    Posted by Book-nerd on May 2, 2014 at 09:47

    Thank you for writing this for all of us! I sure needed to hear this also. I’m trying to learn to keep waiting on God’s timing and to fully trust Him with every relationship or thought of one. There is a guy in my youth group that I thought acted like he was interested for a while but now I’m not so sure. Cuz he is a really great guy and I was interested in more than friendship if he was but now I don’t really think it’ll go anywhere. So once again, it’s learning to trust God with any potential relationships and waiting for Him. Which is really hard!! But thank you so much for sharing your heart:) You have learned so much…and at such an early age too! Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus!! Have a blessed day!

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on May 5, 2014 at 20:49

      Thanks for sharing honestly, Heather 🙂 It’s good to know I’m not alone!

  4. notnormalgirl

    Posted by notnormalgirl on April 17, 2014 at 16:16

    I was wondering if you could write an article on courting. You have mentioned it before in a couple of your other articles, I was interested.

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on April 22, 2014 at 09:08

      Hi @notnormalgirl, do you mean courting, or dating? I know this is a controversial topic — so at the moment I haven’t “picked a side”. 🙂

  5. gabby99

    Posted by gabby99 on April 15, 2014 at 23:16

    this is awesome!! I totally agree! I have been waiting for the right guys to come along because I know that if I go “seeking” than it wont be a god this. I have totally been happy with being single for a while now. I am 14 going on 15 in June, so I know I’m not ready to start dating. but my brother has started going to this thing in Rockford. it is a awesome collage/school that you take one year to completely focus on god and what he has planned for your future than what you and other have planned for your future. there is also no dateing while you are attending this school. I have visited my brother there a couple of times and I have started noticing a guy there. he is 18. I know, kind of dangerous, a little older than I am but really its only a 3 year difference. (don’t worry I’m being carful with the age difference.) but it seams like god kind of put him here in my life, he is a godly man, cute, funny. I wish I could say more about him but truth is I cant. I don’t know him very well but what I do know is that I want to see where this is going. NO I am NOT going to start dating anytime soon but who said getting to know someone was a bad thing?? I think one thing god is telling me to do is focus on what I need to do next and that is loving him whole heartedly. next is drivers ed, jobs, finding my inner cercal of friends. god is telling me to be patent. just like all of us should be. I really do have feelings for this guy but I know god is telling me to wait. at least for know.

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on April 16, 2014 at 10:19

      It sounds like you have your priorities in check 🙂 Good for you!!

  6. Lilster

    Posted by Lilster on April 9, 2014 at 10:23

    I wish I had seen this post a few months ago when I was at a very bad time in my life where I desperately wanted a boyfriend (at age 16) and was upset by how all my friendships with guys ended up in the friendzone. Then when I had decided there was no hope of getting a boyfriend any time soon and to just continue waiting, my guy best friend who I had been crushing on for months admitted to liking me (he had liked another girl before he started liking me) and I am now dating him and our relationship is amazing and a gift from God.

    So a glimmer of hope for everyone who is in the situation of being 16 or older and not having a boyfriend and seeing no hope of one in the near future, it may come when you least expect it.

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on April 10, 2014 at 09:38

      That’s so encouraging, Lillie! I’m glad you have found a great guy (: I’m still waiting but it’s worth it !

    • Lilster

      Posted by Lilster on April 9, 2014 at 10:25

      But a side note on that, don’t rush in to any relationship that comes up with a crush, carefully consider the wisdom of it.

  7. Jesusfreak1415

    Posted by Jesusfreak1415 on April 5, 2014 at 14:00

    Thank you so much for this post. I really needed it. I’ve made some pretty stupid and hasty decisions in my past in a relationship that I regret. I’ve felt guilty about it for a while and this reminded me that God put that situation/relationship in my life as a part of his plan as a whole. I realized that if I hadn’t made those mistakes I wouldn’t have learned the valuable lessons that I have about guys and relationships. This was great encouragement and some good tips that I plan on applying to my relationships in the future. Also, the last line was absolutely perfect…..”Trust Him with your life before you trust him (any guy) with your heart.”

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on April 7, 2014 at 17:07

      I have also made some pretty stupid decisions, but I think I should be grateful rather than hateful towards them, because I realize now how God has worked in my life through those things. I’m glad you’ve come to the same conclusion:) God bless!

  8. CelesteAtiyah

    Posted by CelesteAtiyah on March 24, 2014 at 16:50

    I really loved your post. I feel the same way too. I’m 16 and I have never had a boyfriend before. I get lonely sometimes and wonder why God hasn’t sent that ‘perfect’ person yet but then I feel as though realized that I have to perfect my relationship with God first. If God is love and you haven’t given your all to Him how can you give it to someone else?

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on March 31, 2014 at 10:07

      I’m totally with you on that (: Keep being patient! I’m working on it too (:

  9. Godismytruelovexx

    Posted by Godismytruelovexx on March 23, 2014 at 08:39

    Thank you for writing this post! I’ve been struggling a bit with this because almost every person that I know has had at least 3 boyfriends in their lives, whereas I have had none, and i’m 17 years old! But when I read this quote “I wait for love because God wants all of me before I enter a relationship.”, it suddenly touched me because it makes perfect sense. Being single will help me strengthen my relationship with God first, and then he will bring the right man for me 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on March 31, 2014 at 10:01

      I’m glad! I really believe that if we expect God to put us in a Godly, Christ-centered relationship, both my boyfriend and I will have to be in a relationship with Christ. There is no healthy, Godly relationship without God in our individual lives at first. I totally agree with you!!

  10. blindlessgirl

    Posted by blindlessgirl on March 14, 2014 at 04:58

    This is so true! 😀 Great and thanks for this. God bless you!

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by iFLOE on March 6, 2014 at 19:16

    Hey, thank you for writing this, we share the same views (although i wouldn’t be able to word this as perfectly as you have:)). It’s hard to believe that you’re sixteen with such a mature out look on a sensitive subject like this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on March 7, 2014 at 17:03

      I’m so glad!! it’s so encouraging to know I’m not walking this journey alone 🙂

  12. kate800

    Posted by kate800 on March 2, 2014 at 15:04

    Thank you for this. I decided way back in middle school that I wasn’t going to date until high school, because of the way I saw a bunch of my friends’ relationships end. I figured, “I won’t date until I’m more mature.” Well, at the end of the eighth grade I fell hard for a guy and wasted eight months of my life pining over him. We did actually eventually get into a relationship that lasted slightly more than two months before falling apart at the seams, leaving me feeling broken and confused. I prayed hard, and I honestly think that God’s telling me once again, I need to wait, because I still don’t feel mature enough to take on a relationship at this stage of my life. This article’s given me courage that it’s the right thing to do. So once again, thanks.

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on March 2, 2014 at 19:22

      🙂 I agree with you 100%!! And I have gone through the same thing too — I lost hold of my footing and forgot my promise. I have learned from those mistakes and I am now waiting until God has made me into a more mature Christian before putting me into a mature relationship. <3

  13. Project Inspired

    Posted by Lizzy97 on March 1, 2014 at 23:28

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart on the subject of waiting for love!! I am to waiting and this really encouraged me. I am going to to full force in waiting even more for the man He has for me!

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on March 2, 2014 at 19:19

      I’m glad you’ve made that decision!! We’re all in this together! <3

  14. UNBREAKABLE Warrior

    Posted by UNBREAKABLE Warrior on February 28, 2014 at 20:16

    Love the post! Growing up I grew up in a very dysfunctional household, still do. I thought all marriages end in divorce or that both partners would stay in a loveless marriage just for the kids. I realize that not all marriages was like that. I never had a male role model I can say “I want my future husband to treat me like he treats his wife”. So I decided(when I ever like 10) I would give my future husband the ultimate gift a girl can ever give. Now that am 17 turning 18 in March most most of my friends have already been sexually active and my other friend say she might/might not wait till marriage. However, I am firm in my belief, they think its just because the bible say I should. They don’t understand it’s a deeper reason behind my choice to wait.

    My friend just told me either am too picky or gay(I’m not gay). She said this because I am beautiful, funny and smart but I never had a bf. I told her firstly, I’m not gay. Secondly, I have not found a person I can share my beliefs. Every guy in my college either so full of them-self or so occupied with partying or work. I’m waiting till God sends my other half. I’M 17 YRS OLD GEEZ! I don’t NEED a bf.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by iFLOE on March 6, 2014 at 19:22

      Amen. I’m glad you’re deciding to wait. A moment of pleasure isn’t worth a lifetime of regret, and I believe god will send you your Mr. Right. That Mr. Right will love you and treat you like his queen, god bless! 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 28, 2014 at 21:33

      @UnbreakableWarrior, I’m sorry you grew up in a dysfunctional household 🙁 I know that this is not God’s intention for families and marriages. I’m so glad you’ve decided to wait — you are a real encouragement to teens like me 🙂 God bless you and your future husband!

      • UNBREAKABLE Warrior

        Posted by UNBREAKABLE Warrior on March 7, 2014 at 12:24

        I understand why you do, but don’t feel sorry for me. I grew up all my life wondering and questioning God reason for letting me have the family I do. I realize that everything in my life happen for a reason. It made me stronger both emotionally and spiritually. But thank you for your kind words. I put my faith in God for my future husband and a wayyyyy better, loving, kinder, and healthier marriage I grew up observing. 🙂

  15. cobbcats

    Posted by cobbcats on February 27, 2014 at 16:56

    Thank you, thank you, thank you SOO MUCH for posting this. Because lately my friends have been dating a lot and I am that one Christian girl who hasn’t dated yet. (Not saying that it bad) This has inspired me, I really really needed to read this. 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 28, 2014 at 15:01

      I’m so glad 🙂 I think it’s amazing if you havent dated yet — it’s very important to me and I can tell it’s important to you too to wait for the right guy! Glad you’re in the same boat 🙂

  16. Dreamer1998

    Posted by Dreamer1998 on February 26, 2014 at 11:20

    Wow, just what I needed to read! 🙂

  17. Christian.girl4

    Posted by Christian.girl4 on February 24, 2014 at 21:04

    That was very inspirational! Thank you so much 🙂

  18. margaret22

    Posted by margaret22 on February 24, 2014 at 20:29

    This is just what I needed to be reminded of, thank you so much!

  19. I

    Posted by I on February 24, 2014 at 19:08

    Very great article. You are very wise for your age. I made a decision when I was young to not date until I was old and mature enough. I’m 19 years old now and am still waiting for the one God has for me. It can get lonely sometimes but you will be saved soo much heartache if you choose to trust God and not just date around for fun. Like you, I’ve seen soo many young girls torn apart and I wish more of them would choose to wait too. God bless you and may He continue to give you strength to resist temptation and run the good race. 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 24, 2014 at 20:59

      Thank you 🙂 It’s definitely a struggle but it’s wonderful to hear the testimony of someone who has been running the same race.

  20. soccersk8r14

    Posted by soccersk8r14 on February 24, 2014 at 13:54

    Loved this!

  21. beautifulgirlsallovertheworld_

    Posted by beautifulgirlsallovertheworld_ on February 24, 2014 at 10:12

    Beautiful, and pure insight. Such an encouragement 🙂

  22. iam_priceless

    Posted by iam_priceless on February 24, 2014 at 06:33

    Wow, thank you. That is so encouraging. I am only fourteen, but girls my age are questioning me why I don’t have a boyfriend, because, well, you know, this age in my life is all about “firsts”! Give me a break! This helps a lot thank you again!

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 24, 2014 at 15:28

      I’ll pray that you stand strong and make wise decisions. Thanks for your encouragement 🙂

  23. jesusgirl7736

    Posted by jesusgirl7736 on February 24, 2014 at 06:06

    Thank you for that article! Sometimes I get a bit distracted by guys. And not having a relationship. I just wonder will it be my turn. But your article has reinforced my desire to keep on waiting. Because I know when I meet my future husband. He’ll be the one who was created just for me by God. Thank you again for this article!! 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 24, 2014 at 11:41

      I’m glad I encouraged you — I’ll be praying for you and your future husband!

  24. YellowBanana

    Posted by YellowBanana on February 24, 2014 at 05:49

    Wow, that was a lovely article! It touched me because I feel just like you. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 24, 2014 at 11:40

      I’m glad I’m not in this struggle alone! God bless you 🙂 <3

  25. olburrows

    Posted by olburrows on February 23, 2014 at 20:25

    That was a lovely article! Well done! I’m a few years older than you and I know I couldn’t write something that good. God gave you a wonderful gift of writing.

    Thanks for the reminder to wait for love and trust God wholeheartedly.

  26. kellynmac

    Posted by kellynmac on February 23, 2014 at 20:03

    This was exactly what I needed to read tonight. Thank you ❤️

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 24, 2014 at 15:39

      I’m glad!! I hope you’re reminded of how priceless you are to God 🙂

  27. TrustingThroughTrials

    Posted by TrustingThroughTrials on February 23, 2014 at 16:32

    Beautiful and true as your articles always are <3

    • his98child

      Posted by his98child on February 24, 2014 at 11:39

      Awww thank you 🙂 That’s so sweet of you.

      • cobbcats

        Posted by cobbcats on February 27, 2014 at 16:56

        Thank you, thank you, thank you SOO MUCH for posting this. Because lately my friends have been dating a lot and I am that one Christian girl who hasn’t dated yet. (Not saying that it bad) This has inspired me, I really really needed to read this. 🙂