fbpx

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy here!

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy now!

  • Relationships
  • News From Nicole
More

    Why I’m Waiting for Love, By PI Girl Chels

    Have you ever been “in love” before? And by this, I mean, you know — guys.

    When you were younger, maybe five to eight years old, guys were untouchable because, well — cooties.

    And then, when you got a little older, maybe 10 to 12 years old, you started seeing guys in a whole new way. If you were a calm and collected child who was completely aware of growing up, you might have brushed it off and said, “Well. I’ve officially entered puberty.” Or, if you were like me, an insane child, you might have freaked out and started running for the hills.

    Just me? Okay.

    Ah. The wonderful Guys and Girls and the Differences Between the Two Talk. The most awkward or totally normal two hours of your life? You decide.

    And then there were those things called crushes.

    Crushes are called crushes for a specific reason. When you like someone who probably thinks you’re nonexistent, you feel kinda…crushed. Sort of like standing by his locker, and then he comes by, doesn’t notice you, and opens his locker and it goes swinging into your face. Ouch.

    Crushes are usually emotional dealings of the heart. You think, “Oh my gosh, he doesn’t even know I exist…what to do, what to do…”

    That or you just stand there and watch him with this goofy smile on your face. Apparently crushes can drive us insane and berserk. They’re tormenting. You blush when he’s around, and he doesn’t even notice. Ugh.

    Crushes — we’ve all been there. It was a heartbreaking phase of life and love that we now look back and laugh at. “You know…that one cute boy I liked in kindergarten…”

    And now you might still be in that crush-phase. Or you’re going on 16 like me or caught somewhere in those early teenage years. Once you get to this age, love becomes a game.

    What do I mean by a game? I mean that love becomes something you gamble at. I know it sounds bad — that’s because it is. What does it mean to gamble at love? It means you give more than you know you’ll get back.

    A few examples of “gambling at love” are giving away your virginity out of marriage (regardless of whether you know this person or not); spending excessive time fantasizing about the future of a new (or nonexistent) relationship; allowing the relationship to consume you; allowing the relationship to destruct boundaries, etc. I could go on and on about the mistakes I see being made in teen relationships today. Most people would ask me, “But why do you think you can judge these relationships? Obviously you’ve never been in their shoes.”

    Right. I’ve never been in their shoes — but I’ve been in another pair of shoes next to them while handing them tissues. I see the result of hasty and unhealthy relationships, and honestly, why would I want to put my shoes into that kind of situation? I don’t need to experience an unhealthy relationship to be able to know it’s unhealthy.

    A Godly guy isn’t going to look at a girl and say, “Hmm, let me look at her record and see how many guys she’s been with and how much experience she has.”

    A Godly guy who wishes to pursue a healthy, God-centered relationship wants a girl who has been wise in relationships. He wants a girl who has displayed discernment in her decisions. This doesn’t just include relationships — this includes everything.

    Nobody is going to have a perfect record. No one is going to say, “I’ve never been tempted to be in a relationship that I knew wasn’t good for me.” It is a part of our human nature to want to feel a sense of belonging and to be loved, physically and emotionally.

    And there is a chance to turn back for every girl and guy who have made mistakes. The Godly girl isn’t necessarily the girl who has had the least amount of relationships — more so the girl who has learned from previous relationships and has gained knowledge and wishes to improve from them.

    I have a mental list of what my dream guy is like, what God’s dream guy for me is like. Look at this list and you will realize that there’s a lot of minor details that didn’t make it to the list (i.e. blue eyes, dirty-blond hair, loves chocolate ice cream and loves Twizzlers). Why not? Because that’s not what God looks at. When He was busy selecting my future husband, He considered our marriage, our promises and our hearts. Everything else is just extra.

    So how do you get your list to look like God’s list? Now that you desire to be wise about the relationships you enter, how can you be sure what to look for?

    1. Pray. 
    Huh. Cliche much? But guess what? One of our means of communication with God is through prayer. It’s a 24-hour, toll-free, never-busy line that stays open for you all the time. Bring your relationships to God. Ask Him what He wants to see in your future, rather than what you want to see in your future. Ask God what He wants on your list.

    2. Give God ultimate control.
    God knows the future of your relationship/s, but He gives you the choice to ask Him for guidance. Do so. When you give God the control of which direction your relationship is headed, you are submitting to God’s will and often that turns out a lot better than your own will.

    3. Trust God with your past, present and future relationships.
    Why do I mention past as well? Because those are all a part of His will. They all played a role in molding the decisions you will make as a girl or guy. God desires to have an intimate, trusting relationship with us. He wants us to trust Him wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly means no half-way or partial trust. It means entire trust.

    As a single, going on 16-year-old, sometimes I wonder when that perfect guy is going to come into my life. My life dream has been to grow up with my future husband. To know each other for years and years before we say “I do.” (Just one of those minor details again.) And it’s frustrating to me when I see that it’s not happening; that no guy is coming into my life yet. And while my friends are starting to get asked out on dates which could lead to potential relationships, I’m sitting here wondering, “Uh. When is that going to happen for me?”

    The hardest part is letting “Jesus take the wheel” and allowing Him to take ultimate control of what’s ahead. He often sees the red light before we do. We just have to trust Him.

    I guess we could sum this up pretty neatly. The human love life psychology is complex and has its heartbreaks along the way. But when we give God control, our “list” and our discernment become what His list looks like and we accept what wisdom He has to offer us.

    I wait for love because God wants all of me before I enter a relationship.We often question why we should wait (or why we’re still waiting), but if we pray and ask God, maybe we’ll discover that our hearts don’t belong fully to God yet, and until they do, we aren’t ready to be in an earthly relationship.

    Trust Him with your life before you trust him (any guy) with your heart.

    Written by PI Girl Chels

    Do you have words of wisdom you want to share with the PI community? Submit your own article here!

    his98child
    Hi, I'm Rachel, but most people call me Chels. I am a homeschooling junior, and older sister to two younger sisters and a little brother. I have a photography business and hope to pursue a major/career in cinematography. Project Inspired has served as a safe haven for me to receive and offer advice from and to other girls. My Christian walk with Christ and my journey with Him so far has proved to be a great testimony in my life and in the lives of others. To those who haven't formed a personal relationship with Jesus yet, I really encourage you to think about it. Jesus is now my best friend--someone I can be open and 100% honest with. Visit my blog: www.chasingchels.weebly.com

    59 COMMENTS

    1. That was a lovely article! Well done! I’m a few years older than you and I know I couldn’t write something that good. God gave you a wonderful gift of writing.

      Thanks for the reminder to wait for love and trust God wholeheartedly.

    2. Thank you for that article! Sometimes I get a bit distracted by guys. And not having a relationship. I just wonder will it be my turn. But your article has reinforced my desire to keep on waiting. Because I know when I meet my future husband. He’ll be the one who was created just for me by God. Thank you again for this article!! 🙂

    3. Wow, thank you. That is so encouraging. I am only fourteen, but girls my age are questioning me why I don’t have a boyfriend, because, well, you know, this age in my life is all about “firsts”! Give me a break! This helps a lot thank you again!

    4. Very great article. You are very wise for your age. I made a decision when I was young to not date until I was old and mature enough. I’m 19 years old now and am still waiting for the one God has for me. It can get lonely sometimes but you will be saved soo much heartache if you choose to trust God and not just date around for fun. Like you, I’ve seen soo many young girls torn apart and I wish more of them would choose to wait too. God bless you and may He continue to give you strength to resist temptation and run the good race. 🙂

    5. Thank you, thank you, thank you SOO MUCH for posting this. Because lately my friends have been dating a lot and I am that one Christian girl who hasn’t dated yet. (Not saying that it bad) This has inspired me, I really really needed to read this. 🙂

      • I’m so glad 🙂 I think it’s amazing if you havent dated yet — it’s very important to me and I can tell it’s important to you too to wait for the right guy! Glad you’re in the same boat 🙂

    6. Love the post! Growing up I grew up in a very dysfunctional household, still do. I thought all marriages end in divorce or that both partners would stay in a loveless marriage just for the kids. I realize that not all marriages was like that. I never had a male role model I can say “I want my future husband to treat me like he treats his wife”. So I decided(when I ever like 10) I would give my future husband the ultimate gift a girl can ever give. Now that am 17 turning 18 in March most most of my friends have already been sexually active and my other friend say she might/might not wait till marriage. However, I am firm in my belief, they think its just because the bible say I should. They don’t understand it’s a deeper reason behind my choice to wait.

      My friend just told me either am too picky or gay(I’m not gay). She said this because I am beautiful, funny and smart but I never had a bf. I told her firstly, I’m not gay. Secondly, I have not found a person I can share my beliefs. Every guy in my college either so full of them-self or so occupied with partying or work. I’m waiting till God sends my other half. I’M 17 YRS OLD GEEZ! I don’t NEED a bf.

      • @UnbreakableWarrior, I’m sorry you grew up in a dysfunctional household 🙁 I know that this is not God’s intention for families and marriages. I’m so glad you’ve decided to wait — you are a real encouragement to teens like me 🙂 God bless you and your future husband!

        • I understand why you do, but don’t feel sorry for me. I grew up all my life wondering and questioning God reason for letting me have the family I do. I realize that everything in my life happen for a reason. It made me stronger both emotionally and spiritually. But thank you for your kind words. I put my faith in God for my future husband and a wayyyyy better, loving, kinder, and healthier marriage I grew up observing. 🙂

      • Amen. I’m glad you’re deciding to wait. A moment of pleasure isn’t worth a lifetime of regret, and I believe god will send you your Mr. Right. That Mr. Right will love you and treat you like his queen, god bless! 🙂

    7. Thank you so much for sharing your heart on the subject of waiting for love!! I am to waiting and this really encouraged me. I am going to to full force in waiting even more for the man He has for me!

    8. Thank you for this. I decided way back in middle school that I wasn’t going to date until high school, because of the way I saw a bunch of my friends’ relationships end. I figured, “I won’t date until I’m more mature.” Well, at the end of the eighth grade I fell hard for a guy and wasted eight months of my life pining over him. We did actually eventually get into a relationship that lasted slightly more than two months before falling apart at the seams, leaving me feeling broken and confused. I prayed hard, and I honestly think that God’s telling me once again, I need to wait, because I still don’t feel mature enough to take on a relationship at this stage of my life. This article’s given me courage that it’s the right thing to do. So once again, thanks.

      • 🙂 I agree with you 100%!! And I have gone through the same thing too — I lost hold of my footing and forgot my promise. I have learned from those mistakes and I am now waiting until God has made me into a more mature Christian before putting me into a mature relationship. <3

    9. Hey, thank you for writing this, we share the same views (although i wouldn’t be able to word this as perfectly as you have:)). It’s hard to believe that you’re sixteen with such a mature out look on a sensitive subject like this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂

    10. Thank you for writing this post! I’ve been struggling a bit with this because almost every person that I know has had at least 3 boyfriends in their lives, whereas I have had none, and i’m 17 years old! But when I read this quote “I wait for love because God wants all of me before I enter a relationship.”, it suddenly touched me because it makes perfect sense. Being single will help me strengthen my relationship with God first, and then he will bring the right man for me 🙂

      • I’m glad! I really believe that if we expect God to put us in a Godly, Christ-centered relationship, both my boyfriend and I will have to be in a relationship with Christ. There is no healthy, Godly relationship without God in our individual lives at first. I totally agree with you!!

    11. I really loved your post. I feel the same way too. I’m 16 and I have never had a boyfriend before. I get lonely sometimes and wonder why God hasn’t sent that ‘perfect’ person yet but then I feel as though realized that I have to perfect my relationship with God first. If God is love and you haven’t given your all to Him how can you give it to someone else?

    12. Thank you so much for this post. I really needed it. I’ve made some pretty stupid and hasty decisions in my past in a relationship that I regret. I’ve felt guilty about it for a while and this reminded me that God put that situation/relationship in my life as a part of his plan as a whole. I realized that if I hadn’t made those mistakes I wouldn’t have learned the valuable lessons that I have about guys and relationships. This was great encouragement and some good tips that I plan on applying to my relationships in the future. Also, the last line was absolutely perfect…..”Trust Him with your life before you trust him (any guy) with your heart.”

      • I have also made some pretty stupid decisions, but I think I should be grateful rather than hateful towards them, because I realize now how God has worked in my life through those things. I’m glad you’ve come to the same conclusion:) God bless!

    13. I wish I had seen this post a few months ago when I was at a very bad time in my life where I desperately wanted a boyfriend (at age 16) and was upset by how all my friendships with guys ended up in the friendzone. Then when I had decided there was no hope of getting a boyfriend any time soon and to just continue waiting, my guy best friend who I had been crushing on for months admitted to liking me (he had liked another girl before he started liking me) and I am now dating him and our relationship is amazing and a gift from God.

      So a glimmer of hope for everyone who is in the situation of being 16 or older and not having a boyfriend and seeing no hope of one in the near future, it may come when you least expect it.

    14. this is awesome!! I totally agree! I have been waiting for the right guys to come along because I know that if I go “seeking” than it wont be a god this. I have totally been happy with being single for a while now. I am 14 going on 15 in June, so I know I’m not ready to start dating. but my brother has started going to this thing in Rockford. it is a awesome collage/school that you take one year to completely focus on god and what he has planned for your future than what you and other have planned for your future. there is also no dateing while you are attending this school. I have visited my brother there a couple of times and I have started noticing a guy there. he is 18. I know, kind of dangerous, a little older than I am but really its only a 3 year difference. (don’t worry I’m being carful with the age difference.) but it seams like god kind of put him here in my life, he is a godly man, cute, funny. I wish I could say more about him but truth is I cant. I don’t know him very well but what I do know is that I want to see where this is going. NO I am NOT going to start dating anytime soon but who said getting to know someone was a bad thing?? I think one thing god is telling me to do is focus on what I need to do next and that is loving him whole heartedly. next is drivers ed, jobs, finding my inner cercal of friends. god is telling me to be patent. just like all of us should be. I really do have feelings for this guy but I know god is telling me to wait. at least for know.

    15. Thank you for writing this for all of us! I sure needed to hear this also. I’m trying to learn to keep waiting on God’s timing and to fully trust Him with every relationship or thought of one. There is a guy in my youth group that I thought acted like he was interested for a while but now I’m not so sure. Cuz he is a really great guy and I was interested in more than friendship if he was but now I don’t really think it’ll go anywhere. So once again, it’s learning to trust God with any potential relationships and waiting for Him. Which is really hard!! But thank you so much for sharing your heart:) You have learned so much…and at such an early age too! Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus!! Have a blessed day!

      • Haha I feel the same way after reading all you guys’ comments! I love how we’re all walking the same road together. I feel very strongly about this so I’m glad I’m not alone!

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    Read On

    5 Inspirational Hollywood Celebrities Who Are Talking About Faith This Year

    Hollywood has a bad rep for being a secular, godless place, an environment where being a Christian is considered completely taboo. Although this can...

    13 Nutritious and Healthy Dorm Room Snacks to Keep Stocked All the Time

    College dining halls can be great; preparing food for you, and making it so you never have to worry about cooking. But every once...

    Must-See Christian Film ‘Overcomer’ in Theatres Now

    “Overcomer," the new film by the Kendrick Brothers (Courageous, Fireproof, War Room) is now officially showing in a theater near you. The movie asks the...

    10 New Christian Memes This Week That Will Make You LOL!

    Your weekly round-up of the lastest Christan humor has arrived. We've got 10 more relatable Christian memes that will give you a good laugh...

    Why I’m Glad I Dated People Before My Husband

    It was subtle, but it was there. I caught what was being implied: If I dated more than one person before I married, I...

    Subscribe!

    Stay connected with Project Inspired.