Why Waiting To Get Married Isn’t A Bad Thing

    If you were to look in my closet right now, you know what you’d find? Yes. Tons and tons of shoes (don’t judge me). But once you made it past all of the heels and fancy flats, you’d find bridesmaid dress, after bridesmaid dress, after bridesmaid dress. Noticeably missing from the ensemble of pastel-colored bridesmaid dresses would be a white wedding dress.

    Yep! I suffer from the always-a-bridesmaid-never-a-bride syndrome. And every year, since high school, I’ve watched my close friends find their happiness with some lucky man. I’ve watched them pledge their forevers to one another, start a family and put up their white picket fence. With each momentous occasion in their lives, I’ve been genuinely happy. Always. But deep down inside, I always wondered, when will it be my turn? When will I get to have my own cinematic and dramatic Cinderella moment?

    For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me. However, a recent study has revealed that the number of people getting married earlier on in life, has declined, drastically. These numbers have caused some people to run around frantically and look for ways to solve the problem. But is it really a bad thing that more and more people, Millennials especially, are waiting to get married? I don’t think so.

    Back in the day, people used to get married for economic stability or to get out of their parents’ house or to show that they had officially entered adulthood. Our generation doesn’t have those same concerns. We’re doing pretty darn well if I do say so myself. And we’re a bit more focused on forming our own identities, starting a career and strengthen our relationship with God, before “jumping the broom”.

    So what does this mean for all of us single ladies who have to watch our friends get married and ride off into happily-ever-after-ville? It means there’s no need to rush into marriage. Forever is a long time, so this is not a decision that you want to take or make lightly. Focus on your relationship with God. Establish yourself as a woman with a career, a life and a voice of her own before looking for “the one”. Lastly, always remember that a man can only complement you. He cannot complete you. If you’re not whole or if you’re unhappy with where you are in life, no man on earth will change that for you.

    So take your time pretty girl. Wait for the one…not just anyone. There are billions of people in the world, but only ONE is meant for you. It’s going to take some time for your two paths to cross. But when they do….oh when they do, it will be magical and fantastical, just like you’ve always dreamed.




    1. I needed to read this. Everyone on my mom’s side of the family, which is also the Christian side of my family, has been married by 23, and my dad’s side isn’t far off. One of my best friends who’s two years older than me was married last summer and her first-born son is a few weeks old. One of my other best friends who is 18, like me, is getting married this August. Oh and last October my brother married his high school sweetheart at 19. I’ve been feeling the pressure, though no one is actually pressuring me, to get married in the next 5 years. My friends are certain I’m the next to get married but I don’t even have a boyfriend! I know God has a plan though. Only time will tell what it is. All I know is that this past summer God gave me piece about something I’ve been struggling with, something that makes me certain that its in his plans for me to marry one day.

    2. I get these, I was there at some point but I think something that should be written about is getting married young. I think it should be praised and brought forward since it’s so rare these days. The bible tells us that blessed is the person who gets married in his youth. I was married at 19 and I got the whole run around of questions. “You’re rushing into it! You’re too young! You have too much fun to have before you get married! You don’t know what you’re doing!” And so on. And don’t even get me started on the baby “advise”.. But that’s not what God encourages us. Don’t get me wrong, not always do we have the choice or opportunity to get married at a young age, but when we do, why not praise and encourage it? I think if it is encouraged more and realized more it won’t be taken as such a bad thing. It’s rough going through both sides of this.

    3. I think I suffer from a weird kind of irrationality when it comes to all this. This article makes sense to me, but I also think one of the reasons that people have been getting married later and later is because a lot of people are fine and open about sex before marriage, so they have long relationships before getting married, because that aspect is added in. For me, I am waiting for the right guy to come along, and I think I might have found him, but I am staying his friend for a while before anything might happen. I wouldn’t personally mind being married young, especially if I am best friends with someone for three or so years before I even have a relationship with them. But it is waiting to see if what I think God has planned is what He is actually planning. This is where my irrationality comes in, because when I think that I know what He has planned, when He places someone in my life at a very specific time of both of our lives so we can just be friends and develop a foundation before anything, when we both love God and seek Him with all our hearts before anything else can happen, it makes me fearful that I won’t get to end up with someone like them, but then at the same time, I think that if I doubt God that He won’t let be what I think He wants for me. I am extremely complicated, but know exactly what I want when it comes to getting married. I’ve got my lists of attributes and whatnot, but I just can’t help but dream of who I will end up with and if it’s the person I think it is 🙂

      • Oh my goodness, you literally took the words right out of my brain! I’ve honestly been struggling with this because I thought I was just weird and no one else thought this way but me. Thank you for sharing because now I don’t feel so alone when it comes to this subject. 🙂 Everything you said was just, words I couldn’t put into words! I’m on the same level with you when it comes to knowing the guy personally, but then I think, it wouldn’t be so bad after-all if I didn’t know everything about him because that leaves more room for me to get to know him, you know? .. Ugh, it seems so different, and I never hear anyone being on the same level with me, not even my twin sister. We have different opinions. haha. Also, knowing if this really is the guy God has planned for you at the right time, at the right place, and if that guy will truly compliment you not complete you, as the article stated. And if this guy follows God’s word and is a believer in Christ as his Savior, and everything. The best thing we can do is PRAY! So consider yourself prayed for, sister! 🙂

    4. I know I’m late to that party but this is amazing. I was engaged to my dream guy at 18 and we truly believed that it was God’s plan for us to be married. Long story short, we broke up soon afterwards. I have been single for 4 years now and I am stronger in my faith and truly know who I am. Waiting is not a bad thing no matter what society tells you. God has a plan for all of us and we will be married in His time.

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