Why You Can Stop Apologizing for Being Strong

    I spent many years apologizing for my strong personality. I’d try to disguise it among new acquaintances, restraining my normal self to put “best face forward.” Most people knew a form of me, but not the real me. I was too embarrassed to let her show.

    If you are a strong woman—strong-willed, strong-hearted—I want to save you some time. You don’t have to apologize for being strong when your strength comes from God. You don’t have to apologize for your strength of character, your resolve of will or your ability to press through difficulty if you are humbly rooted in the Word of God. If this is who you are, you get to embrace it—and here’s why.


    The World Needs More Strong Women

    Our world is full of women who claim to be strong. This “strength” is characterized by pushing for their own desires, being condescending to others, refusing to consider other opinions and even rejecting God. Our culture’s idea of strength often comes with a side of attitude and arrogance. These women are not truly strong or confident; they are propped up internally by cultural ideals. Many of them are ravaged by insecurity and shame, outwardly “strong,” but inwardly suffering.

    That’s why the world needs more truly strong women: women whose strength is unchanged by relationship status, money or dress size. These women have nothing to prove to others because their strength is not dependent on others’ opinions. Further, their strength is not meant to serve selfish purposes, but to advance the good news of Jesus Christ in a fallen world.

    We need more women like this. We need more women with strong wills and strong hearts to stand up, unafraid, and boldly share what Jesus has done in their lives. If that’s you, embrace it! The church has gotten scared of “strong women” because too many use the culture’s definition of this term. But every woman of God in Scripture was a woman of strength and boldness: Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Deborah, Mary, Elizabeth and many more. When we walk in God’s strength, we are in good company.


    Your Strong Will Can Further the Gospel

    We talk about being “strong willed” as if it’s a bad thing—and it is, when your will is bent to selfish purposes. But a strong-willed woman whose will is bent to Christ? She is a force for good in this world.

    I used to be ashamed of my will, my opinions and my desire to take action. I thought godly women sat back, shut their mouths and threw parties. But as I studied Scripture, I saw that women of God are the perfect combination of strength and wisdom. They are meek, which is strength under control.

    Embrace your strong will, submit it to the throne of grace and let God work wonders through you. When God gives you the words, speak. When He tells you to go, take action. Maybe you’ll still throw parties—I still do!—but the essence of who you are will be satisfied when you’re walking out who God created you to be. He made you a natural leader—so humble yourself before Him and let Him lead through you.

    As you do this, your strong will furthers the gospel. That will which could have been bent to selfish purposes—manifesting itself as bossiness or rude behavior—will instead drive you to a deeper devotion. Let your strong heart do all that God meant for it to do. Engage your strong mind by studying God’s Word, learning to defend your faith. Then step out and put your strength to action for the glory and goodness of God.

    You can stop apologizing for being a strong woman. God’s not asking you to apologize; He’s calling you to embrace Him, and embrace who He made you to be.

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.

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