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Christian Life

Why Your Virginity Doesn’t NEED to Be the Story


Recently, I was scrolling through my feeds and I came across an interesting article called “12 Celebrities That Saved Themselves Till Marriage.” I was intrigued by the title, so I clicked on it. As I skimmed through the 12 celebrities, I suddenly felt this sickening feeling. The article was only highlighting these individuals because of their celebrity status and the fact they saved themselves for their spouse.

Cool story, bro. But here’s the problem I have. I think it’s cool for people to save themselves for marriage. It’s biblical. But what annoys me is when we make virginity THE story. It shouldn’t be. We recently posted a GREAT article about not idolizing your virginity, and the same can be said about not letting your virginity become THE story. JESUS is the story.

The fact that I’ve chosen to wait for marriage isn’t anyone’s business except for God’s and my future spouse’s. That’s it. What I do or don’t do with my body is a personal thing that doesn’t need to be shared with anyone outside of that circle.

I totally understand why people write articles about how amazing it is to wait. It is amazing! But what about those who didn’t wait until marriage? What about those who feel deep regret for not living up to that? They’re probably processing a lot internally. Having to see article after article about how amazing it is to wait probably makes them feel inferior in their Christian walk.

Think about this: If you’re trying to share the Gospel with others, it’s probably best not to make someone else feel inferior, especially when it comes to virginity and “the wait.” Because at that point, they may not feel like they are welcome in the Kingdom. Kind of changes your perspective, doesn’t it?

The reality is that EVERYONE is welcome into the Kingdom, even those who gave up their virginity before marriage. It’s called grace, and God is all about that grace, ’bout that grace, no troubles. (Okay, sorry about that Meghan Trainor reference.)

Look, this is just my opinion on the matter. We as Christians need to rethink our motives when we share stories like this. It’s an important accomplishment to have waited, but it’s not THE most IMPORTANT accomplishment. We are not here to share THAT story. We are here to share THE story of Jesus. Though you can share it through THIS story, I’d much rather focus on things that are attainable to all. Not everyone waited, so let’s shift the focus to something else.


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  1. courage

    Posted by courage on August 13, 2015 at 11:03

    Totally agree with this. At the end of the day, I feel that- in the eyes of modern day teen culture- you can never win: If you’re a virgin, you’re labelled a prude. If you’re not, well… your labelled as other not so nice names. We shouldn’t idolised our virginity and be mean to others who don’t follow our path. In sixth form, (the English equivalent to the end of high school) I felt as though I was the only one who wanted to wait. But, one day, a girl who I sat near spoke very openly and confidently about how she would wait. I had no idea that there were other christians at my school. I love articles like this, and PI in general: It gives great platforms to talk about real issues that face christian girls in the modern day. This community gives me great confidence. Recently, I coolly,casually and confidently expressed my choice of virginity til marriage to some of my non- religious friends. Honestly, to that group of people, they didn’t make it into such a fuss- it was great.

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by HastingsHannahK on August 7, 2015 at 20:42

    This is absolutely amazing. God grace is greater than all our sins.

  3. LittleMermaid

    Posted by LittleMermaid on July 28, 2015 at 00:42

    I noticed this was written by a man…and it makes me wonder. You see I was raised in a conservative, Catholic (I’m non-denominational now) and hispanic home. Basically women are taught to wait till marriage and men are expected not to. So being a virgin myself, it makes me kinda sad to know that my future spouse (if the Lord wants me to marry) may not be a virgin himself. I’ve always thought that men don’t care. My grandpa had other women and my dad had other women on the side. It was just what I saw growing up.

    Anyways, seeing how this was written by a man makes me wonder. Do men really care as much as women do? Do they regret sexual sin too? These may be a stupid questions but I really am curious. I guess growing up with a grandma telling me that men are lustful and all they want to do is sleep around, hasn’t helped me one bit! In fact it’s made me a bit afraid of men. I’m almost 26 and have never even danced with a guy before. LOL

    Also, I never realized that I could be hurting others by telling them that I’m a virgin. 🙁 Thank you for bringing this up as now I’ll be more discreet about it.

  4. nicolinedahl

    Posted by nicolinedahl on July 22, 2015 at 14:07

    I didn’t wait and I don’t regret not doing so. It’s my body and my business.

  5. Luckyflavia22

    Posted by Luckyflavia22 on June 18, 2015 at 19:41

    I agree.

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by InspiredChange on June 11, 2015 at 19:40

    YES! YES! YES! Thank you! Yes, the reason for virginity is to strengthen our relationship with Christ, but everyone makes mistakes and sexual sins are just as strong as other sins such as lying, cheating, stealing, etc. What we need to focus on is not our modesty or sexuality (even though those are important), but focus on the GRACE OF GOD instead, because that’s what the Gospel is all about. We should not shame others for their sins, when we have sinned equally, if in different ways. Thank you for this post–it was on point (especially the MT reference:))!

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by QueenLiz7 on June 10, 2015 at 00:29

    Although, I agree with the writer in some way I do believe though that the bible places some role in us as Christians. Rather if we grew up in Christ or not, that we have a certain standard to live up to, when it comes to sexual sin and in keeping holy so we shouldn’t played down that although the point that he makes is important in a way.

  8. martial_artist_for_Jesus

    Posted by martial_artist_for_Jesus on June 9, 2015 at 18:45

    I agree completely. I hate how the media just takes every little Godly thing people do and just blows it waaaaaayyyy outta proportion (calling em the “privacy police” from now on 😛 ), it’s stupid and silly.

    On another note, I also agree that we as Christians should all love each other as God loves us, virgins or not. However, if you’re still a virgin (and struggling a bit w/ the idea of saving u-know-what for marriage), think of it in these terms: it’s God’s WEDDING GIFT to you. 🙂 He picked it out especially for you and your spouse to open together!