Will God Tell Me Who My Husband Is?

    Every few months, I hear from someone who believes God told them who their spouse would be. Sometimes the person knows; other times he doesn’t. But the girl remains convinced that God told her that this guy was “The One”!

    Does God tell us specifically who our spouse will be? It’s a worthy conversation. It’s important to note that the concept of “The One” is not biblical, but based in Greek mythology—and that ultimately, Christians are called to look for one thing in a spouse: a heart committed to God. A heart that loves Christ automatically fulfills the character qualities necessary for marriage.

    But what about if you’ve seen those qualities in someone and feel as if that person is God’s will for you? Here are a few things to consider.


    We Walk by Faith, Not by Sight

    I firmly believe that God still speaks to us through His Spirit, but the Spirit will never contradict God’s Word. If you believe someone is the person you’ll marry, there are a few things to ask yourself:

    • Is this person committed to Christ? God will not lead you to marry an unbeliever. If a person DOES marry an unbeliever, God can redeem that situation—but it is not His perfect will for you.
    • Are you putting words in God’s mouth? Our hearts are deceitful, and if you’ve spent a lot of time daydreaming about this guy, you could easily confuse your desires with God’s voice.
    • Are you walking by faith? Choosing faith in singleness is hard because you can’t see the future. But that’s the whole point of faith! Trying to figure out who your spouse is ahead of time won’t make walking by faith any easier down the road. Simply trust God to lead you.
    • Is this person pursuing you? If he isn’t actively interested in you, imagining him as your spouse—even if that were to happen one day—is counterproductive. God wants your focus. Concentrate on Him during this time.


    Don’t Confuse Personal Desire With God’s Voice

    When girls spend a lot of time consuming romantic media, they tend to romanticize reality. Looking for romance in every situation causes us to confuse our personal desires with God’s desires for us. If your heart is consumed with finding a spouse and you can’t be content in your singleness, it’s more likely your mind and heart wishing someone was your spouse than God actually speaking this over you.

    But if you have been seeking God faithfully and working toward His will right where you are, are you open to hear His voice? It’s possible He would indicate a certain person is your spouse. But God is wise, and if He knows telling you your spouse’s identity would result in rebellion against your parents or a rushed, impure relationship—He will wait until the correct time to direct you.


    You Might Not Marry the First Person You Date

    In reality, it’s not that important that you know who you will marry. Knowing ahead of time would be more of a distraction than anything else! What’s more, the person you like at 18 may not be in your life when you’re 24—and you’ll change along the way. You might not marry the first person you date, and that’s okay.

    So is it possible that God could tell you who your spouse is? Possibly, but it’s very rare. Don’t seek this. Seek Christ! It is more important to know the God you serve than the man you’ll marry, because it is God who guides you to a man who loves Him.

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.


    1. Point taken,God.

      (For those not in the know, God very often speaks to me through this website, as well as His Word, when I’ve stuff going on and am just lounging on the internet. Lol He knows where to find me!)

    2. This is a good article.
      Could I get some advice… So, I have a guy best friend and we’ve been friends for a while and have helped each other through a lot. However, there’s obviously something more there and we both are aware of that. We’ve talked about that and decided to wait on God’s timing to see if we should pursue a relationship or not (also cause I can’t date in high school and we both respect my parents rules). Even though I don’t have a problem waiting and trusting in God, I feel uneasy about it all…. about not knowing what our future will be. Anyone else struggle with that? Also, I feel like my parents don’t trust him with me (I understand, because “he’s a teenage boy with hormones he’ll struggle with controlling”), and although I understand why, it kinda hurts that they don’t because he has always been respectful towards me. Is there a way I can help them understand and see that he is a respectable and trustworthy friend?

      • I’ve never been in this kind of situation before , but I can tell you that you guys are on the right track on waiting for God’s timing. I’d also say your parents and even close friends can see red flags before you or him so listen to them! And if you really look at them as a whole you’ll see the same thing. But if you don’t then just wait on God. He’s got a master plan for you! And PRAY!!

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