Will You Know Abusive Behavior When You See it?

    People don’t always recognize abuse. You might that think the behavior is “normal” or not serious enough to be considered abuse. Therefore, the first step in stopping abuse is to know when it’s actually occurring. Let’s take a look at what abuse looks like according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway and

    Physical Abuse:

    • Hitting, kicking, pushing, biting, throwing, choking, beating, punching or otherwise inflicting pain or injury onto someone else is abuse.
    • Abuse sometimes consists of the use of a weapon or someone threatening to use a weapon.
    • Stalking is abuse.

    Sexual Abuse:

    • ANY unwanted sexual contact is sexual abuse.
    • Sexual abuse also includes unwanted sexual attention, also known as sexual harassment.
    • Coercion can also be considered sexual abuse.  Victims are often told things like, “If you loved me, you would…” If he loved you he wouldn’t try to make you do anything against your will.

    Emotional Abuse:

    • Emotional abuse consists of insults, put downs, and/or verbal humiliation.
    • Threatening to spread rumors or humiliate you to control you or weaken your confidence is another indicator of emotional abuse (i.e. If you leave me, I’ll tell that you….)
    • Blaming you for any abuse is emotional abuse. You’re NEVER to blame!

    Neglect includes:

    • Withholding food, medical necessities, clothing or shelter by a caretaker.
    • Lack of supervision and inattention to emotional needs.
    • Failure to provide adequate education. You deserve the basic necessities of life and SO MUCH MORE!

    Abuse is NEVER acceptable. God loves His children and your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:19.) God doesn’t want your temple mistreated and abused!

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. I know a girl that goes to the youth group that i work at who is a victim of neglect.. I help her out by feeding her and stuff like that.. what should i do to help her??? I can not take care of her forever and she really needs help

      • Hey Bonita- Is the girl neglected by her parents or by a boyfriend? Can you talk to the pastor to see what kind of social services there are for people in need of help? Also, how old is she? She can apply for food stamps to help her with food. If she emails me directly I will be available to offer her some more advice concerning this an what steps she could take. Please email me at Nicolemsione at gmail dot com. Please take care of yourself, and keep spreading the word about God because He WILL deliver her from this!

    2. Thanks you SO much for posting this! After three months and a lot of heartbreak, I finally realized I was in an abusive relationship. My boyfriend was always rude to me, he was constantly putting me down and making me feel worthless. He was also controlling. Girls need to realize abuse is NOT just physical, and the other kinds can be just as bad, if not worse at times. I wasn’t smart enough to put this boy out of my life, but now I thank God everyday he put me out of his. Girls who are in the situation I was need to get out of it because they deserve so much better! Thank you. <3

      • I’m so happy you got out of that relationship Katelin because God has a big plan for you and will introduce you to a wonderful man in the future who will treat you like a princess! Just believe that. 🙂

    3. I used to be abused emotionally alot. I understand how much it can truly hurt a young teen. At the beginning of the year I was kind of anorexic, but I didn’t think I was fat. It was like I was afraid to eat but I didn’t know why. Eventually it got to the point that I was having thoughts of killing myself and I needed some help. This is when I started talking to a Christian counselor and a Phycologist. (sorry, I have no idea how to spell that) I was still hardly eating anything. I would eat only yogurt and chicken noodle soup once a day. It got so bad that at school I was skipping lunch and everybody began thinking I was strange. When it got really bad, my parents didn’t want to have me in a mental hospital, so they threatened me into eating. I was emotionally abused alot because of this. Also, i was told I would be whipped with a belt and that the food was going to be stuffed down my throat. It was a terrifying experience, and made me question my relationship with God. I continually prayed to God that he would help me be able to eat and exercise the way I was able to before. God stepped in, and slowly I began to eat again. I don’t understand what happened or why it happened, but every day I began eating more and more and also more variety. At this point, I am doing much better. I have gained back the weight I had lost, and I am in different activities. (before, I would never leave the house) The only thing wrong is I get stomach aches often when I eat things more bold, (italian, mexican, etc) which would happen to alot of normal people to. Just for people reading this, I am not saying that I had it bad because the one inflicting it upon me did it because they loved me, but if you are being emotionally abused, pray about it. God will help.

      • Lauren- thank you so much for sharing this with all the girls who are reading it. You are a witness to people and He is using you in big ways! I am so happy you prayed to God and he listened to you and helped deliver you with your eating disorder. Anytime you need help with anything, please email me. Take care of yourself because God has a big, big plan for you!

    4. Bonita, there are also hotlines you can call for victims of abuse and neglect. 1-800-4-A-CHILD is a child abuse hotline (and I’m sure if they are over 18 they will be glad to direct you where you need to go for more info). I believe they will help answer your questions and guide you in what steps to take next. And like Nicole said, tell an adult/s until you find someone who will listen :). I’ll pray for her and you :).

    5. wow i was just like that i cant eat or sleep nd i couldnt setup for along time i tought that it was gon stop in sometime but it dont i told my mom nd she didnt know why it was happenin to me but after sometime it did stop but it started again nd i thought it was because im goin to a new school soon so i hope it will stop nd i pray to god every change i get nd i love god with all my heart nd soul..

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